What's Holding You Back?- March to your own beat .. its the last week

As soon as I saw the link on Laney's last "March to your own beat" post at Crash Test Mummy, asking us to complete the "whats holding you back quiz", I was straight over at the Oprah website answering away...

No one can deny I am a doer!! This I know I am ... and was I surprised with the end result.... nope, not one little, tiny bit... I could have said read out the answer that before I did it .. but I was scared I'd get it wrong... so can you guess what i got ??? Surprise Surprise I got  Fear of Failure....

This was summed up "You are terrified of stepping outside your comfort zone. And you're not alone—I find that this is the most common fear. My clients who struggle with it are often perfectionists who tend to take failure personally. When they don't succeed, they say, "I'm a failure," rather than "I failed." So it's understandable that new ventures can seem frightening. The most important thing you can do for yourself is work on building self-efficacy—the belief that you can actually accomplish what you want to do. Start by setting and achieving small goals. For example, if you want to be a massage therapist, sign up for an adult education course in shiatsu. If you want to be a florist, reach out to one; invite her for coffee and ask her how she got started. As you succeed at these smaller challenges, bigger goals will seem less daunting, and eventually you will develop the confidence to take the leap you've been dreaming about."

 Now I agree with quite a lot of this.. but I do believe I allow myself from time to time to step a couple of feet outside my comfort zone.. I know I don't stray too far from the edge .. but I do like to push myself just a tad ...

To delve a bit more into what is holding me back  and what makes me tick I got out the results of the birkman assessment I did last year as part of my redundancy.. It really gives a bit more of  an insight into how the good, bad and ugly of Java Jane .. and has been one of the most useful things I have had done... Parts of its strength is it doesnt just review the outer visible behaviour but it delves deeper into the drivers and motivators - my needs.. as well as looking at the stressors  -when our needs are not being met.. 

My usual style is 
- insightful 
- optimistic
- thoughtful
- selectively sociable (not sure what this means but I'm guessing this is where my shyness arises!)
- reflective

My personal  needs
- I need individual support
- I need to be able to encourage expression of feelings
- I need  time for reflection ( don't hurry me when I'm choosing a place for dinner!)
- I like to give time for difficult decisions


My stress behaviour (when my needs are not being met!)
- ignore social convention
- become indecisive 
- find it hard to act
- see the worst possibilities
- display anti social behaviour
- become overly sensitive to criticism 
-disorganised 
-self protective 
-evasive (ouch!)

I have a sensitive and respectful approach in one on one relationships, I have an ability to recognise other peoples needs, but this comes from my own awareness of my own feelings.  I need a combination of frankness and sensitivity from others.

It is important that they are neither too blunt nor overly concerned about my feelings.  

 I have a great desire to please others. I have a strong need for approval and acceptance within groups . I love group activities and this is  shown in my broad circle of friends and social network.  When these needs are not being met and the support of friends is lacking I can respond adversely by striving too hard to please or can end up with serious social anxiety, and avoidance of close personal relationships.. 

More than most people I tend to focus on my personal shortcomings rather than my strengths (true!) As a result, I take great pride in my accomplishments and respond well to difficult or demanding tasks. I can be driven, strong willed and have high expectations.  On the flip side I am inclined to blame myself if something fails, become too self critical and feel inadequate! 

I could go on and on and and  on.. It is very detailed report... (definitely worth doing if you get a chance!)  and when I was being taken through it , it wasn't the positives that I seemed to focused on (what a surprise!)... it was the stresses that hit a nerve.. they were the things that made me emotional... not because I didn't like hearing them... but because they were so true... they were me in a stressful situations... me in demanding situations... me in situations I didn't want to be in!

So I know how I should be feeling, I know the kind of person  I can be if I am doing whats best for me... Even though I dont think  I know the  direction I am heading in.. I am ready to go on an adventure... (That is the Sagittarius in me!) 


 I just need to back myself.. and believe believe believe.. I do know if I put my mind to it I CAN achieve anything! And from the wise words of my favourite singer.. "You gotta have Faith!" 

Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee

Looking forward to meeting loads of wonderful, amazing, gorgeous  bloggers tonight at the DP2012 Pre conference drinks... I'm nervous as hell.. but I cant wait!!!

Images 

Wordless Wednesday - Country Getaway

On the weekend Darby and I made a trip to my mum and dads in the country. It was only a short trip, but it was so relaxing and just what I needed.. 24 hour dose of country air will do the trick every time!

I am Linking up today with Trish for Wordless Wednesday at  My Little Drummer Boys

Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee

Early morning drive ....

The necessary coffee

Another Mocha for the afternoon!

Darbs photo taking!

Millie dog getting an affectionate pat!

Planting Peas

What is left of the stables... from the fires..
Dad has turned making this wood into candle
holders... They are beautiful!

Hours….

I  have been thinking about my trip a lot lately… for those that haven't read before.. I am heading off to Mauritius in July to be a bridesmaid for a friends wedding and then heading to London for to catch up with my best friend. 

There are around 2360 hours until I leave for my trip…. 

2256 hours until the wedding in Mauritius for Elisha and Lindley 

2232 hours until I am hungover and need a rest by the beach  

2160 hours until I board a plane for London 

2054 hours until I get on a train and head to the place I have wanted to go to FOREVER- Paris 

2045 hours until I spend countless hours gossiping and helping my dear friend shaz with her little bub

2880 hours until I arrive home in Melbourne 

I have  also calculated the hours that I will be away from home  as well… 546 hours….. 

546 hours … 546 hours …. Then it dawned on me, well not really, more like a punch in the chest as I knew this was coming all along… 

I will go for 546 hours without a kiss or a cuddle, from Darby…  without him jumping all over me.. or letting him  gently sweep his hand across my hair…  546 hours where I will not have the pleasure of helping him get dressed, taking him to kinder, pick him up from kinder and take him for trips out for coffee.. 546 hours without hearing his laugh…putting him to bed… and our night time ritual of him sitting on my knee as we tell each other silly stories… our talks together.. him teaching me things every day with his batman wisdom…

I will also not feel the frustration that sometimes comes with solo parenting but left with me I will have the more gut wrenching thought of not seeing him for so long…. 

This makes me tear up at the thought.. Ill have to harden up a little or I might not be able to get on the plane,  the fact I will not be in any distance, to smother him in kisses makes me feel sick.. and makes my heart ache… This is my baby we are talking about!

It will be a massive learning curve to spend that much time alone, with myself.. talking to myself.. learning about myself.. its something I'm going to have to get used to! 

I know that this is the break that I deserve and I am yearning for it so much each day… I realise this is my first chance in a long time to grow up.. to take care of me, only me…  I'm not sure I'll like it … but  maybe I will come to realise that there is a happy medium of taking care of me to help with the long term care of Darby.. a happy mum…. makes a happy child… 

I know that Darby will be in such good care with his dad, and his family to help out as well as my family and friends.. he will be surrounded by love and care… he may even forget who is mum is - well until I get off the plane with all his presents from London! 

We talk about my holiday every day, so that he understands that it is just me going.. Its hard for him to understand as  we have been hand in hand for the last 2 years.. we are a team, we have stuck together.. we have looked after each other.. we say this to each other every night as we drift off to sleep.. Ill be leaving our team for a little while …. but Ill be coming back, more cultured… more relaxed and  a better mummy…

I'm not to going to dwell on this too much, otherwise it will take up all my brain space and I have so much to organise, passport, wedding bits and pieces, my trip to Paris and around England  etc etc.. these are all exciting and life changing things for me.. It is scaring the hell out of me but I know it will be exhilarating and I know I will come back a bit changed..  hopefully for the better..

Who has left their child/children for a long period of time? How did you cope.. What strategies did you use? How did the children go? 

Today I am linking up with the delightful Jess at Diary of SAHM for  IBOT .... share around the love... 

Until next time, life is too short for crappy coffee

{In the meantime on another serious note.. I now know I have 2360 hours to get into shape… My first stint as a bridesmaid and I want to be in tip top shape… So that will keep me focused for the next 3 or so months! }

My loves in life...

I'm a lover not a fighter so I thought I would share   some of my true loves!!

Without exception .... I love Darby... I love my Family... I love being a mum... I love my inlaws... I love my friends....  I even like my ex partner.. most of the time!!!

Coffee

I love Coffee.. .... I love Soy Cappuccinos...... I love Soy Piccolos.... I love Soy Mochas... I love babycinos that come with Marshmallows... I love Chai Tea ..... I love Earl Grey Tea...I love peppermint tea......

 Food 
I love homemade Pizza... I love Pineapple on Pizza...I love Anchovies on Pizza...I love Anchovies full stop, I love Cupcakes...  I love baking cupcakes.. I love Caramel Slice...I love homemade Granola.... I love baking all of the above.... I love Poached Eggs... I love Basil... I love date balls... I love Salt and Vinegar Chips....I love Blueberries...I love all berries.... I love Lindt Mint Intense chocolate... I love all chocolate... I love Watermelon... I love Pineapple... I love Caesar Salads... I love seeking out the best caesar salads.... I love lots of Vegemite..  I love it on Toast.. I love Sourdough Bread... I love Chia Seeds...  I love Coconut oil... I love fruit smoothies in the morning
I love my Red Mix Master... but would really love a Red Kitchen Aid!!

Random loves....

I love Cheesy Music ...I love George Michael ...I love Billy Joel...I love Fleetwood Mac...I love singing in the car cos I know I'm bad.... I love having a good boogie on the dance floor... I love making movies... I love my iPhone... I love my Mac book Pro.... I love Pilate's... I love my Personal Trainer....  I love boxing... I love Spring Weather... I love how my body has recovered from major injuries and major surgeries.... I love French Champagne...  I love sleeping in.... I love shopping..... I love anything to do with makeup..... I love lipstick.... I love wearing bright lipstick......I love Gin and Tonic

I love cuddles and kisses from my little man... I love his love of coffee...  I love his adaptability... his ability to see the positives in life... ....I love how he makes me feel (most of the time!)

I love my life.... there  are pieces missing.... but it is my adventure to find those pieces and make the puzzle... I do believe the things I want.  I will get .. I just need to be patient and believe that there is a wonderful future out there for me ....
And in the meantime Life is too short to drink crappy coffee
xxx

March to my own beat - week 3

Im am back for more ..... participating in the third week of "Marching to my own beat" the phenomenal idea from the creative  genius.. Laney at Crash test mummy... 

This week its all about delving  what we are good at... 

Well I find this super hard.. I don't see what others see....I like to think its my humility, but really I know I am just insecure.. I can recognise that  I am self aware (a positive trait) .. so this is on my to do list to work on....

If I was an Animal 

I wasn't sure what I could feel any association with a particular animal... So I asked my little man - even though I am meant to be thinking on my own two feet... (but he was the only one around)...

So I posed the question: 

"If mummy was an animal what would I be??"

 He pondered this  for a moment - and then he said: 

"A giraffe, mummy because you have long eyelashes and a long neck" -  not really the answer I was after but sweet all the same, then he added... you are like a pink butterfly... no, no I think you are a Lion.." 

Now that one sat right with me... something about "I am woman, hear me roar" resonated with me. I do think I am more like a lion, fiercely  loyal to my pride (family, friends and followers) and protective of my cubs...(The female Lion is always the one in charge!!)  oh and I also barrack for a football team called the Lions - no coincidence there! 

If I could have any role/job I would be ... 

I would love to work in something creative.. I need to be creating new  things on a daily basis.. This seems to  bring me joy and happiness and  that exhilaration and buzz.. that starts in my stomach and takes over my whole body... (I don't get in my everyday job)

I would also like to help people.. I have worked in Health Promotion for the last 7 years and it gives me a real kick.. I love that I could be making a difference to someones life.. 

I would love to work for something like Jamie Oliver's - Ministry of Food... I am passionate about helping people achieve their health and well being goals, including healthy eating and getting out and exercising.

I want to be working somewhere innovative and ever evolving.. I don't think I could sit still somewhere for too long.. (this is coming from someone who was at the same workplace for almost 11 years!!) 

My Hidden Talent 

I'm not sure I have too many hidden talents - I do believe that I have a lot of creative ability to offer, just not sure in what capacity yet... 

I am just not good at trusting myself or my ideas..... I can't see my own capabilities, and if I do, I tend to sell myself way too short... 

I know that I am good at makeup.. I love to do it .... but I am always questioning whether people will like what I have done.. is it too dark, too light... but I know I am good... I just need to trust my instincts more! I know I have creative talents hidden, even If I am yet to find out what these are!! Oh I did just make a video of my Coffee Journey - you can check it out here!!

The most creative thing I've ever done... 

Front on mind of course is my whirlwind coffee tasting journey last year and starting my blog on a complete whim... 

As soon as I opened up Blogger and created my account.. and posted that first post something was lit inside, a burning desire to do more with my creative side... I'm still plodding away.. I cant get any ideas off the ground.. there is too much stuff going on in real life that take up most of my time but I would love to dedicate some time getting creative and in the right headspace to come up with ideas... but its slowly slowly  evolving and I hope it can continue to be my creative outlet! 

People come to me when they need help with...

Well its certainly not when they need something fixed.. I go to my dad for that.. I am not really a problem solver of the traditional kind!  Lately people come to me when they need to cook something sweet.. I'm not an expert... but I love baking.. its another creative thing that  brings me joy.. When I was pregnant with Darby, I had a craving for cupcakes.. not so much to eat them, but to bake them, it was like being pregnant unlocked this hidden baking gene.. (I went ahead and cooked over 200 cupcakes for my baby shower - at 35 weeks pregnant!!)  

Cupcakes before they were in vogue-  my daggy versions at my
baby shower!

People seem to come to me when they need to talk something over, I am an excellent listener, and give sound advice, advice from the heart, honest advice, advice from life experience... 

Also I always get asked for makeup advice!!! (I'll take questions any time!!!)

The sort of problems I like to solve are....

I don't think I am much of a problem solver... maybe I'm too busy daydreaming and thinking about the future that I cant get pulled into the present to sort out a problem! 

I like to be challenged.. so if the problem was of the electronic kind.. I would give it a go... 

Someone else thinks I am good at...

I really wasn't sure how to answer this one.. so I turned to Darby again.. and he said I was good at drinking good coffee.. Amen to him!!! He knows me too well!

I guess others have told me I am good at manoeuvring my way through solo parenting with a smile on my face and a positive attitude.. I hope that I inspire some people! (I really try not to complain about it.. I probably don't talk about it enough .. something I will work on!) 

Oh and back to the makeup - I have been told I am pretty good, I suppose that is why I'm off to do 2 weddings in the next 2 weeks.. where I will make 10 gorgeous women, look even more amazing!

Phew that was really hard..... Now I'm off to do the Oprah quiz.. looking forward to finding out more ... and reporting back of course!

Until next time , life is too short  to drink crappy coffee... 

A little sneak peak of a journey of the past - Wordless Wednesday with a twist

This week  I am finally sharing  this video I have been working on  for about 4 months now.. well since the end of 2011... and the perfectionist in me just couldn't get it right... 
But the other day I wondered what the hell I was doing.. I wanted to share this.. not spend countless nights trying to make it perfect.. nothing in life is perfect.. so I have decided to share my not so perfect video!!

I made this primarily for me, as a reminder of my 2011 coffee journey..  to be able to look back in time and reflect on the journey Darby and I went on and to spur me on for my next adventures, whatever they may be .........
To Darby's credit.. most of the photos of me, were taken by him on my iPhone .. all the more special for me to remember!  (what did we do without iPhones!!)


Its nearly 10 mins so I don't really expect many to watch it all the way through ....... but it may give you insight into what I did for 12 months... (and how much coffee I drank!!!) 

Life is too short to drink crappy coffee...

I am Linking up today with Trish for Wordless Wednesday at  My Little Drummer Boys

Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee

The Adventures of Java Jane from Jane Hallisey on Vimeo.

Crash and burn....

It seems that Tuesday is not my day! I seem to always fall apart on a Tuesday.. and it is always the day where my blogs take on a more serious side... I think it must be  my little cry out for help!!

Life is being a little bit tough on me at the moment... nothing drastic, just work, parenting, finances, not having a car, and this lingering feeling of panic and feeling out of control...

I'm feel like I'm heading for some kind of meltdown.. I'm sure it's only minor, but the pressure I am feeling, from myself most of the time is making me sick... giving me headaches and heart palpitations (no its not the coffee!) and generally making me weary!

I look back at this time last year and the same thing is happening. Its all the familiar feelings and signs.... I crashed and burned in April last year... BIG TIME.... It wasn't pretty...I was worn out... and there were days I didn't want to get out of bed and face the world... I cried at the drop of a hat... over just about anything...... (Yes I was crying out for help!!!! )  Not many people saw it... but it lasted on and off for 2 or so months... I hadn't let myself get to that point.. to go crazy, get angry or feel really sad  since my breakup the year before, So maybe it is all in my brain, a signal for myself to recognise what happened 1 year ago when things began to crumble, and life as I knew it disintegrated before my eyes..... 

So I'm guessing that is what is happening right now...  Its like some little alarm bells going off telling me to approach the next little while with caution!! So maybe that's all I have to do! 

I know my work schedule.. working more than I have in five years is still taking quite a lot of getting used to.. I know I will but it is exhausting.. I keep craving a day off... to catch up on my life.. maybe this full time caper is not for me!!

 I seem to have so many balls up in the air at the moment, and I struggle with the fact that there is no one there to catch me, should I fall or fail...

I know I'm just having a rough day and  things will be ok, but I think I need a giant hug from someone to tell me it's all going to work out in the end... I know I'm as strong as strong can be.. but this vulnerability I'm feeling  just makes me realise I need to ask for help sometimes and maybe even say "yes" even though I hate to that I am not coping so well!!

I'm sure surrendering these feelings will make me feel 100% better! I'm sure this post has been a blur to read, as it was a blur to write...

Let's just see what tomorrow brings...


Today I am linking up with the delightful Jess at Diary of SAHM for 

The joy of the ANZAC biscuit!

At this time of year I crave comfort food... The warm days, followed by the crisp evenings are one my favourite things about Autumn... as well as my favourite holiday; Easter.. 
Although this year, please, please, please tell the Easter bunny to come and go already!! 
I am hating the chocolate temptation every time I walk into, well just about anywhere... Those Eggs have some kind of magical power ... saying "buy me buy me, eat me, eat me !!" Why oh why does Easter chocolate taste so much better than regular chocolate! It must be a nostalgic reminder of our childhoods... thats all I can think of anyway! 
Makes me think the Easter bunny does exist after all and he likes to punish me every year.. 
So to curb my egg eating frenzy, I have turned to the beloved Anzac biscuit to save the day! They are my favourite biscuits. They have so much going for them!  So easy to cook, so fast and so god damn tasty!  This weekend  seemed like the perfect opportunity to get my Anzac on .. so I got all domestic and decided to cook numerous batches of them... My house now smells like a biscuit factory!! mmmmm Least it doesnt remind me of the chocolate eggs!! 

With my Anzacs this year  I am" trying to be healthy"(except for the eggs)  so have changed up the ingredients a tad... and I was more than pleasantly surprised with how they tasted... They were lick your lips delicious !! I will definitely be  making  them again! And I dont feel so bad as they are relatively low in sugar.. and have healthy oil as apposed to regular butter!! 

Ingredients 

Makes about 30 medium sized

1 cup of Wholemeal or Spelt Plain Flour

1 Cup of Rolled Oats

1/2 Cup of Coconut Sugar 

1/2 cup of Desiccated coconut
2 Tablespoons of Chia Seeds

125gm of coconut oil

1-2 tablespoon of Rice Bran Syrup 

1/2 teaspoon of Bicarb soda 

2-3 Tablespoons of water 

Method
Preheat Oven to 175 degrees. 
Mix Flour, Oats, Sugar, Coconut and Chia Seeds. 
Heat the Coconut oil over the stove or microwave (or if you are lucky and live in the tropics you won't need to heat the oil at all as it will already be a liquid). Add the Rice Bran Syrup and 2 tablespoons of water. Lastly add the bicarb soda, and stir until well mixed. Stir the liquid mix through the dry ingredients, if still crumbly add another tablespoon of water. Note: If the ingredients are too dry the biscuits will fall apart.. so more wet is best!  Also you can cut down on the sugar or syrup as they were very sweet... 
Roll into balls and place on lined tray. Bake in the oven for 12-15 minutes until golden brown. Once out, leave on the tray for 5 minutes, and then transfer to a cooling rack! 


Then all you have left to do is get stuck into one (without burning your tongue of course!!)

Go ahead, give them a go ... you won't regret it.. and you just might never  go back! 

I am linking up with the adorable and gorgeous Son at Life Love & Hiccups.... 

Until next time , life is too short  to drink crappy coffee... 

My first ... and most likely last Vlog!!

Well today, I was feeling daring... ok, not really jump out of a plane kind of daring.. but I went ahead and made my first blog.. 
One minute and 12 seconds of nothing really!! Maybe I will warm up to this method of blogging.. but without much of an idea what to say.. and not really keen at looking at myself for much longer than one minute, this is what I had to say ! If anything its an introduction to me in "real life" and hope at least it makes you giggle!! - watch for a cameo from Darby in there too!! 

I might get the hang of it soon... will have to stay tuned to find out!!

Marching to my own beat ... week 2 !!

I found this week's "March to your own beat" challenge set by Laney at Crash Test Mummy much more challenging than week one.... hence thats the reason I didn't get it posted until today! (As well as it being a frantic week at work and I am completely and utterly exhausted! I think I'm heading towards a crash and burn soon .. although I hope not!! ) 

So I am guessing the following weeks will be just as hard at making me question my values, beliefs and what is important to me,  not only as a mum but as an individual, the person that I know is in there, but that I don't see much of anymore.......  

I had to dig very deep to come up with these answers, because on any given day these answers could be completely different... Its not as though my values or beliefs change dramatically .. but there is always an ebb and flow of whats going on in life and what is important right at each particular moment! I bet I read this next week and will have something better to say! 

 More than anything I want to do something about  

Providing Darby the most stable future that I can... this means I have needed to work on the ways I manage my relationship with his dad. I want to be able to look back and  feel proud of how I have  handled what was always going to be a very difficult situation.
I have had to really grow up  and let go of all the baggage, the anger and resentment that to be honest was holding me back. It was so so  easy to get caught up in all of these negative emotions, the whats,  whys, ifs, hows,  I could feel myself getting bitter and twisted  playing my life out in my head (aren't we all just a little bit bitter and twisted at times?) and it  really wasn't good for anyone..
Once I surrended  that anger I felt a new sense of wellbeing, of calm... of being able to see into a more positive future. 
Those postal feelings come up once in awhile, but I really try my very best  to keep them in check as much as possible.  I want  Darby to look back and say:
"wow even though mum and dad weren't together, they could still be friends...still do things together, still celebrate my successes, my journey in life and provide me with equal love and support together.." (well I'm sure he won't phrase it this way... but you know what I mean!) 
I want him to have profound respect and gratitude for the fact I made the right decision to be a single mum but also that Dave and I could be so close! Who knew I would get to this point...

The values that are most important to me are...

Maintaining my sense of self..  I think I have always tried to do this..  I have always tried to look after myself... This is very important to me and I didn't want that to change when I became a mum... there were obvious adjustments, but that sense of self and self care were still there... being a mum is undoubtedly the most important thing  to me, but so is allowing myself to be creative, happy  and making sure I have work /life /mum/balance.  This used to be easier in a partnership.. it is much harder to balance the scales now, I have to ask people to help and this isn't always an easy thing to do... 
Oh and of course my sense of family is very important.. my family is everything to me.. Darby is my family but one day I would like to be able to expand my family... this is the journey I am currently on.. (a man hunt!) 

My proudest moment.
There have been many... climbing Ayres Rock when even I thought this was impossible with my dodgy hips, seeing my footy team win a grand final, delivering Darby in a very peaceful, uncomplicated way, well it would have been complicated if I had him 45 minutes earlier in my car!! (this is making me want to write down his birth story before all the quirky elements dissipate from my brain!) 

I want to be remembered for 

Being a creative force... Im not sure I am there yet... but I have been told by other people I have a creative gene.. Im just on an adventure to find my niche! I need to do physical things... things I am able to touch.. I also want to be remembered for making people feel good! This is why I love doing wedding makeup.. nothing feels better than making someone shine on one of their most important days..

Time stands still when 

I think.. I'm a thinker, a ponderer of life.. I can lose hours just working through the things in my head.. It really is quite exhausting!! ...

I gained a greater understanding of how my head works when I completed the Birkman assessment I did as part of my job redundancy last year.. this psychological assessment gave me unique insights into my  personality, things I already knew and things I knew but never wanted to admit... When I was being walked through mine, it was like a light bulb moments.. flash, flash, flash, I felt tears rolling down my face.. It was so spot on! 
Thinking and working things over in my mind rated really really highly for me, as it was an innate habit, I had never really noticed.. Now that I am aware,  I feel better equipped to work through my thinking to give me answers, ideas and inspirations.. 

My most treasured possession ..


Apart from Darby which is a given, my most treasured possessions are my photos... They adorn every wall and space of my very small unit! They tell my story, take me back to a place, a memory, a smell, a moment... I love photos and I love to get behind the camera and take them! This will never ever change! (I guess I love my computer as well as it houses all my photos!)   Also my bracelet I received for my 30th from Darby, and my mum, dad and sis... I wear it religiously every day and I feel naked without it! 

Something I was totally and emotionally committed to ....

My coffee challenge last year... and  the reason I began this blog.. 
The challenge I set was random... but it said a lot about me, I felt as though at the time, and even now I was worthy of some kind of success... I needed to do something for myself, throw myself head first into a challenge... Ok drinking 100 coffees seems pretty unique in intself...   but having just gone through a painful relationship breakdown.. it was important for me to find myself again, and to help myself heal... I used it as my reward for the year... 


It was the glue that held me together.. without it I would have fallen apart!

Until next time , life is too short  to drink crappy coffee...