I need to go on a date!

There I go stating the bleeding obvious in my post title. I have been thinking (and hoping) lately that I need to get myself out there and go on a date! So now I need to start some DOING ! 
Any date will do really, I'll take the stereotypical dinner and movie combination, or coffee, or walk in the park, drink and a band.... anything really.... I just need to get some MOJO back before its gone forever.. 

You see, I can feel myself slipping into this comfortable state of oblivion and I have the feeling if I don't take some drastic action soon, I am going to be in this same position I am in 3, or 5 or 10 years time. OK so that is a little bit extreme, but after my trip I realise I need do some looking after my own life as well as Darby's. 

I have always considered us as a team, but I really need to think about my own individual happiness as well and how that will only positively impact Darby's life in the long run. So I'm a girl on a (mini) mission to get a love life or at least try to! I know its not the kind of thing that you can orchestrate out of nothing and the best advice from those loved up couples out there is that "it will happen when you least expect it" but seriously I am not meeting anyone from the comfort of my cozy chair where I plonk myself every.single.night.of.the.week! 

So the story goes: I have been a single woman for just over 2 years. The thought of any relationships in this time just gave me shivers, being a single parent has been enough to deal with, adding anything else would have been too much.  
I would avoid any kind of interaction with males really and this has adversely affected my confidence in the dating game. I have really retreated into myself. I am shy, reserved, and hate some of the uncomfortable moments that come from dating, but there are, I am sure, the fun parts I'm missing out on too - the laughs, the debriefs of disaster dates, the nerves that make you feel giddy and more and more. I think I will take the punt that the good definitely outweigh the bad in this situation!

I do really enjoy my dates with my little man, and my former man too, catching up with friends is good, but I really feel its time that I go out with a living, breathing, preferably tall, dark and handsome man (not asking for much am I??). The problem now lies in finding a said, single, living breathing preferably tall dark and handsome (oh with personally) man around.  Most men I meet are at the park  with their kids, or are 19 year old Barista's making my morning coffee, or married with no single friends, where are all the single men???!?! 

So in my semi desperate/semi taking the piss/ semi being serious attempt I am putting the call out, so if you have a single work colleagues, second cousins, friends of a friend of a friend who fancys a date with a relatively sane woman, let me know! I am going to keep my eye out as well and actually take some drastic action on this one!!  (Will keep you posted!!) 

Today I am linking up with the delightful Jess at Diary of SAHM for 

Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee

Image  via Sara on Pinterest

My Window of Happiness

One of my favourite blogger's Fi over at My Mummy Daze came up with this gorgeous link up "Windows of Happiness".  She  started it while I was away, and as much as I had many things and moments to be happy about on my holiday, It was only until I arrived home that the true happiness in my life hit me, well more like came leaping and bounding towards me. 

So whilst I deliriously struggled with jet lag, I was also deliriously happy to be back with my little man. 

Our first morning together we slept in, and then we played silly games in bed where we go into the secret cave (under the covers) and tell each other funny stories  about super heroes and Paris and my holiday. Darby laughs until his tummy hurts, and I cant help but tear up, the emotions of my arrival home are still raw and it will take awhile for me not to tear up at the thought of being away for so long. Its all these simple moments that make me so happy.

We dressed, (Darby layered fashionably 3 of the t-shirts I brought back for him) and I looked in the cupboard for cereal, and the fridge for milk - Nope. I looked in the freezer for bread, no luck there either. I found some out of date breakfast biscuits at the back of the pantry, but I was scraping the barrel with these. After coming back to a house with no food, it seemed we were going to have to go out. Damn. (Secretly I didn't mind  at all!) 

And what a way to celebrate my return,  breakfast at one of my many favourite coffee shops close to home. I was desperate to have a decent coffee hit as well after not drinking much in 3 weeks, and I  needed the caffeine to keep that jet lag at bay. 

Yet it was the conversations we had over breakfast that made me happier. Darby and I had so much to catch up on. With only limited phone conversations and a couple of quick Skype sessions while I was away, We really hadn't spoken to each other in quite awhile.  We swapped stories about his adventures with his dad and grandparents and I told him all about Oxford, Mauritius and Paris. I even threw in some french greetings for good measure (never know when he is going to need to say thanks in French, I'm sure it will come in handy one day!)

We ate some yummy food, me, poached eggs on toast and him, porridge with rhubarb. It was delicious and better than anything I could have whipped up at home. Each time the waitress came over he would proudly exclaim, "My mum got this t-shirt in London - she came back on a plane last night, we went to pick her up at the airport" (I love how little kids over share with random people)

We enjoyed our little breakfast, my heart brimming full with happiness. 
I consider these simple moments in my life so so special, they lift me up and get me through the weeks.. 
So this has been a great start at trying to capture "My windows of Happiness"

Until Next time 

Life is too short for Crappy Coffee

Grateful for time away....

It feels as though I never left.. 3 weeks of holidays gone.. and I have slipped back into this parenting caper with ease... with only a few minor hiccups and adjustments to speak of...  I am back to having a 4 year old in bed.. and no more blissful nights of sleep.  I forgot how much I am called upon in every waking moment... on holidays I looked after myself.. and was on my own agenda.. now I am back, I am on someone else's clock and they want my UNDIVIDED attention! That will take some getting used to! 

In saying all of that.. I am so happy to be home.. my little boy has grown up, he seems to have changed in such a small amount of time... he is so happy I am home... and he smothers me in love.. and random hugs and kisses and nothing gets better than that... 

He is independent and happy and playful and full of laughter and confident and polite and not scared to show his emotions..  And most of all he is well adjusted.. a testament as my mum says to my parenting with his dad.... and our offbeat relationship... and that has  been  the biggest compliment I ever needed to hear.. 

I am instilling all the things I have ever wished for my child to be without even knowing it, and its in my absence that those attributes have truly shined.... 
I feel proud of my parenting for once and not terrible as I often feel... and I am so grateful for that.. 

I'm linking up today with the gorgeous  Bron from Maxabella over at Kidspot- Village Voices 

Until next time.... Life is to short for crappy coffee...

The joy, oh the joy - A happy reunion

I always, always cry in the opening and closing scenes of the movie "Love Actually"... you know the ones where the cheesy Beach Boys* song "God only nows" plays when different families are being reunited at the airport  after some kind of separation, its emotional, its pure, its love..... and it gets me Every.Single.Time.... guaranteed tears!

So its no surprise that my own Airport experience was not short of these reunion waterworks...  23 days away from Darby and the enormity of that came crashing down on me whilst boarding the plane in Perth on Wednesday afternoon.... it didn't help that the poor lady boarding in front of me was beyond hysterical, she was having a goodbye at the airport and they are the worst... I wanted to reach out and give her a hug... but instead I choked back my own tears... 

I am the first to admit at how well I coped when I was away.. much better than I had expected,  of course there were moments of tears and mixed emotions, but what I tried to do was live my holiday as though Darby was watching.. he wanted me to have so much fun... so I went ahead and did just that. I was just Jane for a change... no interruptions, no distractions, just me... I needed this holiday more than I could ever ever imagined! My brain and body was crying out for it!  

I also knew there was nothing to worry about at home.. Darby was in the best possible care with his Dad and my family! They enjoyed it as much as he did! 

But that plane ride to Melbourne felt like it took forever..that 3 hours 59 minutes was like an eternity! My stomach lurched every couple of minutes and my heart fluttered.. tears would well in my eyes and any moment the Qantas flight attendant would be at my side with some tissues!  I distracted myself with a crappy movie.. I am so sick of inflight movies.. I was nervous, nervous to see my own child.. scared that my feelings wouldn't be reciprocated.. 

The moment we landed my heart started to beat faster and everything slowed down! My sis sent me a message.... they were waiting for me, and my nerves calmed.. he was excited, not about the presents, not about my trip, but about seeing me and as a parent that is one of the best feelings!!! 

I grabbed my case and I was out of there as soon as I could.. I bolted down the corridor, tears streaming down my face... and there he was!! My little batman was there... beaming as he ran to me... "mum, mum, you are here" he squealed before wrapping himself around me for a big, squishy cuddle! (the snap above that my sister was able to take in our first cuddle!) 

It was the best embrace we have had... his voice sounded even cuter and more squeakier than I remembered ... he looked like he had grown, he was more mature... my heart beamed with joy and I actually think his  did too! 

I hugged my sister and aunty too as I wiped away the tears and I cuddled him again... Then Darby took hold of my little red case and proceeded to wheel it proudly through the airport, telling everyone "my mum is home - no more sleep till she is home". 

As we were walking I looked down at his little  feet and pointed out that his shoes were on the wrong feet - my sister replied "only a mum would notice that kind of thing" and she was right... I did feel like a mum again... I felt like something clicked and I was complete again! Back to being a mum, back to my little team.... but with so many happy and amazing memories now to share and teach my little man......

I got to have my own cheesy airport reunion and I felt like I was in my own Love Actually scene... cheesy Beach boys music and all...

Today I am linking up for FYBF over with the gorgeous Grace  over at With some Grace ...... 

* I can say Beach Boys are cheesy because I am seeing them in concert in a month! 

** I got to meet Jayne from Jagger Files  and her gorgeous girl Sophie... she was so kind to pick me up at the international airport and drive me to the domestic in Perth.. we then chatted for ages and it was great!  She is just like she is on her blog! Gorgeous! Just wish we lived closer, it was also a good distraction before I flew to Melbourne xxx

Until Next time.....  

Dear Darby - I am home tomorrow

Dear Darby... 

There is only one more sleep, one more sleep and mum will be home! I am so excited and I heard on the grapevine that you are excited too! 

It felt like forever ago that I saw you last.. I know you have had such a great time on your own adventure...

Mum has had an amazing time too, with so many stories to share and pictures to show you! 

Can't wait to give you a big squishy cuddle at the airport and smother you in kisses.. I'm sure you will just want to see whats inside my case for all the presents.. 

I have missed you so much.... but I have done well.. better than I expected... I have been brave and strong and I have had so much fun! 

See you tomorrow Darbs, 

Love Mummy

xxxxxxxxx

Letters to Darby- on the homeward stretch

Dear Darby,
I am sorry I haven't written to you much since I have arrived in the UK, not because I haven't wanted to..mainly because I have been so busy soaking up this adventure, by the end of each day when I want to write to you, my eyes fight the tiredness setting in, and I just fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow...
Although It has been so nice speaking to you on the phone from different places, I'll always remember our phone conversation when I sat admiring the Notre Dame in Paris... and the ones I have had when I have been in Oxford.
I will have so many different stories and memories to share with you when I am back next week, I can't believe it has been 15 days since we last hugged... And I only have another 7 days until I get to hug you again... It really will be here before I know it.. I can't wait for that moment when I get off the plane and will see your smiling face again!
I have had an amazing time and I really want to bring you to these places one day.. Maybe when you are a little older we can come back... Mum will just have to save really hard!!

Have a blast at grandma's and Grandpa's house this weekend..
See you on Wednesday night
Lots of love
Mum xxx

Letters to Darby - Goodbye Mauritius.. Hello ENGLAND!!

Dear Darby,

Missing you like crazy but its been so nice to hear your cheeky voice over the phone this week... Mum tries really really hard to keep it together but when I hear your voice I cant help but tear up! Its in my DNA to think about you all the time.. and there have been moments where I wish you have seen something or shared something with me.. but all in good time.. one day I will take you to these amazing places and we can have our own adventures together! 

Dad is doing such a great job of looking after you.. and he has been telling me how good you have been which I am so happy to hear! 

I promise you monkey, when I get back I will have a feast of presents... 

Well I have farewelled Mauritus for now.. The last couple of days were spent sunning myself on the beach... I haven't relaxed like that in as long as I can remember.. it was all in preparation for my long haul flight to London! 

We left the Bungalow at 6.40am in the morning and drove the hour long drive down to the Mauritius international airport! I farewelled Elisha and Lindley and set about checking in and getting through customs... 

I checked my bag in and walked through security, as I was walking in a security guard asked me if I had a Violet case, I replied yes.. but started getting worried as to why he had been watching me... I went through the usual airport stuff and of course today was the  day for my hip to go off when I walked through the scanners...  I was ushered to be patted down by a lovely security guard.. and then a scary looking security guard asked me if I could follow him.. he took me behind those doors with mirror on the outside (always a bit of a worry!!), down some stairs and dark corridors until I was lead out to the loading bay for the luggage... There was my case sitting all by itself! I started to panic wondering if someone had tampered with it! Luckily they were just doing a routine  security check.. but they had to go through all of my stuff looking for god knows what... much to my horror... they were ruining my precise packing! There was so much in the case and the zip had been bulging from the pressure at the sides that I thought any moment it could burst.. 

Of course they didn't find anything and I had to quickly pack it up again.. the zips just closed! Luckily! 

Once we were on board I relaxed.. I just wanted to get on my way.. The flight was going to be 12 hours long and I was mentally preparing myself for it! 

I was seated near the back with a group of British rugby players, they were very rowdy, but were very sweet , helping me with my overhead luggage and offering me food! 

I waited impatiently until we took off... I always get nervous with our take off... I grip the seat and my knuckles go white!!  I'm getting slightly better at it! Ill be a pro by the time I get back! 

About 30 mins into the flight, some flight attendants began running to the front of the plane.. I was alarmed and panicked already... They called over the speaker if there was a Doctor on board... eek this wasn't looking good!!

It was when the Pilot began to speak that I had a sinking feeling of what we were in for! He asked for us to remain calm... but there was so much panic in his voice it was almost impossible to do so, a medical emergency on board meant it was a  turnaround and back to Mauritius for us! We made a safe landing with blaring firetrucks awaiting us! The passenger was ok, but left the plane with the ambulance .. we then refuelled and waited and waited and waited... It was more than an hour until we took off again.. I knew then it was going to be a long long flight!! 

And it was... All of the decent movies I had watched on the way over.. So I listened to relaxing music and tried to sleep... I nodded off for a couple of hours, but time was dragging! I clock watched the whole time.. Which was like watching paint dry! FINALLY after over 15 hours on the plane we arrived at Heathrow!

I couldn't contain my excitement! I was here.. I was in London! I was ready for my trip!

It took me awhile to get through customs and to the other terminal where I needed to catch the bus to Oxford! Adrenalin helped to keep me going...And got me onto that bus, once I was on I started to relax.. On my 40 minute journey I decided to only listen to music by UK artists, so I played a bit of Robbie Williams and Adele, George Michael and the Beatles. It felt intrinsic to be listening to British pop, and classics.. I was so so tired but I wanted to cry with happiness excitement and heartache...

I was picked up at Oxford by Stuart and we were in the car for the short drive to Charlbury to where I was staying! I couldn't really see anything as it was dark.. but it was so nice to be driving through the forests and winding roads! 

It was amazing to finally get to Sharon and Stuarts at just on 12am in Hixet Wood ...I was exhausted and fell into bed... a long day, but I was so happy to be in the UK..... 

Missing you heaps Darbs

Love Mum xxxx

Letters to Darby - The morning after

Dear Darbs, 

I managed to sleep in after the wedding night, something I haven't been able to do since I have been here in Mauritius, but that meant when I went to Skype you it was already late afternoon back home and you had left from Grandma and Grandpa's in Bendigo  and were headed back to Melbourne with Aunty Laura. 

I was so sad to have missed your smiling face! I haven't seen you now for a week, the longest time by far... and I still have 16 days to go...

It will be easier to call when I am in Oxford at Sharon and Mossy's house.. Although you have to tell dad to make sure he can set up Skype! I will at least try to call and that way I can hear your voice!  

After the wedding I was so tired.. I had a nap mid afternoon and then we headed down to the beach! I had not done this since being here, so it was nice just taking our time walking along the beach from where we are staying in Flic en Flac up to the Hilton..... it is so stunning... I  walked in the water the majority of the way! The beaches are so blue and crystal clear and the sky is a similar colour!  You would love this so much!! 

When we arrived at the Hilton I hung out on the beach and with Shaz and baby Aiden! Then I went to sit on a beach lounge  just overlooking the ocean and just relaxed!  Such a nice feeling!  I ordered fresh pineapple juices from the bar (my favourite) and watched as the sun set! 

 It gets quite cool when the sun goes down, but not freezing like home! We have been lucky that the weather has been so good while we have been here..... I cant believe it is meant to be winter here... nothing like the winter back in Melbourne! 

An early night was had by all as we were all so exhausted from the wedding festivities... 

Hope to see your little face really soon 

Lots of Love 

Mum xxxxx

Letters to Darby- the big wedding day!

Dear Darby,

Well the reason for my trip became a reality today! The wedding of Elisha and Lindley!

It was such an awesome day, but it really was over in a blur!! Here are some of the highlights!

- A gorgeous relaxing breakfast at the Hilton- the calm before the storm! I was sensible and didn't pig out too much.. Although there was so many French treats to to choose from to eat! Donuts for breakfast! Only on holidays!

-As we were leaving to head to the ceremony, Elisha handed me a bottle of expensive champagne to drink in our limo - when I grabbed it, the dew on the bottle made it slippery and it slid all the way down my body to a resounding crash on the tiled floor.. The glass smashed to a million pieces and the floor was covered in frothy wine... Just what we needed when our stress levels were at our highest!!

 As a result some of the glass got stuck in my foot, and sliced the front of my foot, a bleeding bridesmaid is not a good look, thank goodness for baby wipes!! I think I will still  retain the title of clumsiest person for the next year or so!!

- Walking down the aisle.... Elisha's mum who was giving her away sobbed all the way down, to counteract this Elisha giggled a all the way which was just gorgeous.. Mummy couldn't help but have tears running down my face.... 

-We had some very funny videographers and photographers following us around all day... They were very cheeky, cracking jokes and making us pull lots of cheesy grins.. but they were brilliant! Elisha will have amazing photos!

- The ceremony was in both English and French! As everyone speaks French, I am slowly starting to understand the lingo!! (getting me in good practice for when I visit Paris in a week and a bit!)

- We did the cheesy beach shots where the whole bridal party jumped in the air!! Even with my dodge legs I managed to do it! I hope the photo is a good one!

- Apparently everything didn't go according to plan.. The Mauritian way is free and relaxed so everything was running late, but you wouldn't have noticed a bit.

- After the cutting of the wedding cake they had amazing fireworks... They really capped off the night!! They were beautiful- it made it feel like I was at a celebrity wedding!!

- There were traditional sago dancer who  performed.. Those guys know how to shake their hips!!! Mum had a go, but she wasn't very good!! Shaking her booty is definitely grandmas thing!

- When it came time to catch the bouquet, I was the only one dare enough to enter the dance floor! I had to dance to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" - how embarrassing! Luckily I caught the bouquet!!  So who knows what will happen next! 

- All in all in was a beautiful wedding and I was honoured to be here to help be a part of it! 

Missing you like crazy my little monkey...

Lots of Love 

Mum xxxxx

Letters to Darby- Mum having fun!

Dear Darby,
It was so nice to see your smiling, inquisitive face this morning! I was so glad I was able to Skype you! I was sitting in the back corner of the local Internet cafe.. Tears were streaming down my face when I saw your little face! I'm surprised I was able to put together a sentence that made sense! I'm sure a few people turned their heads to look at the crazy woman at the back!  I heard about all the cool things you have been doing with your grandma and grandpa! 

Today was another full on Mauritian experience, with so many activities to do! 

We took a long long bus ride and  visited some natural wonders, a magnificent gorge with views so far you could see the ocean... we then stopped and ogled at the waterfall  that stretched all the way down the cliff face... all such great photo opportunities! 

Next we went to the 7 coloured earths.. a phenomenon where a part of the world has sand of  7 different colours - purple, black, red, orange - it was something like I have never seen! 

I think though you would have loved the tortoises, we could touch there hard shells and funny scrunchy faces! 

After that we stopped at a Rum Distillery.. the surroundings were beautiful and I cant wait to show you photos of it when we get home! Here we were shown how Rum is made, something you won't care for much now.. but probably will later in life! 

Even Mum tried some through gritted teeth! Although some of the flavoured ones were really nice! And as a cocktail, were very easy to drink! 

Needless to say our group of 18 got rather rowdy after this! We had lunch in the adjoining restaurant where we ate some of the best food we have eaten! It is amazing to think a three course meal with drinks was 1000 rupees - which really is Australian $40...... we gave them a massive tip at the end as the service was wonderful! 

I had a couple of cocktails which were very yummy... I really felt in holiday mode, a flower behind my hair, a cocktail in my hand! I really felt like I was on holidays! I really was having fun! It was a great experience!

We took the much  quieter bus ride home.. most people were napping, including myself!  When we got back to the bungalow I packed up my belongings... We were going to the Hilton! 

This place was super swanky... I  felt like I was in the movie Cocktail... except there was no young, before crazy Tom Cruise making my drinks!! I can only hope!!   Elisha and I checked into our room and headed to the spa for our pedicures!! This was pure indulgence Darbs...  So relaxing.... 

I felt like an early night after that and besides it was the big wedding day the next day so we needed as much beauty sleep as we could get! 

Wish I could take you to this place.. maybe one day soon... you would love it! 

Better go as I am rambling on and my session at the Internet cafe would be costing a fortune!! (In Mauritius rupees that is!!) 

Hope I get to speak again soon and I promise I won't blubber as much! I am now realising how far away I am from you.... and how long it will be till I get to hug you again (I am blubbering writing this!) 

Lots and lots of hugs and kisses and more hugs and kisses....  

Mum xxxxxx ooooo xxxxxx