Declutter and be free......

Over the past week I have felt a certain shift in my life. To simplify things. To get rid of all the clutter in my home and surrounding me. 

As I enter a new phase in my life with impending study (and more balls to somehow juggle) I had an overwhelming urge to get my home in order, to start this new chapter afresh. 

Let me tell you, I have plenty of clutter! I'm sentimental, I hold onto things, lots and lots of things that are all so dear to my heart, but when I thought about it more its the feelings and the memories that these objects evoke.  I knew they had to be thrown out,  so as a compromise I have taken a picture of all of the things that previously I couldn't part with. A moment in time, and  now they are gone. The picture will still remain on my computers hard drive if I choose to look for it.  Its not the same, but at least I can reconnect with that memory whenever I want without it taking up the space it did. 

Its so very cleansing to get rid of so much stuff. To remove much of the material things from my home, to and really rid myself of all this baggage. 

Because that's exactly what it all is, baggage that is weighing me down.  

Today I was going through shelves in my wardrobe, which to be honest haven't been touched since I moved in, over 3 years ago. 

When Darby and I moved into our little unit  it was such a roller coaster time, that I couldn't deal with some of the unpacking of my former life. So in the bags on the shelves they have remained. I'm not sure if it was  psychological that I just wasn't yet ready to unpack back then or just that I didn't need these things anymore. Whatever the reason it  all had to go! 

I can't keep bringing new into my life if the old still remains. The old has to be set free. So cupboard by cupboard, drawer by drawer. I have been getting rid of mess, of rubbish, of things that are no longer necessary in my life. 

I have donated multiple bags of clothes, shoes and bags to charity. I have thrown out old makeup and letters and cards and useless bits of paper. I have got rid of food I don't eat, cleaning products I don't use anymore (well donated to Darby's dad!!)

When does one ever get time to wear their entire wardrobe. There are plenty of the "when I fit in to that etc " but I am not in that mindset anymore. I want to wear the things that fit me right now, so all of the too small stuff just had to go. Downsizing my wardrobe has been a very cleansing experience. 

And then once the bedroom was done, it was on to the kitchen and laundry, bathroom. 

 

I have come to realise that to be happy, I do not need much in my life. I have all the essentials. I have a roof over my head, I have food, water and plenty of clothes and most importantly I have Darby. And really that is all  that I need to be happy.

And now  that brings me to the subject of my blog.  I feel at  the moment, maybe its time to close its little door too.  To let go of the baggage that is stored within it.  It  has served a beautiful  purpose for me over the last 3 years.  I have cleansed and healed and renewed. I am a completeley different person to who I was back then.
It has brought some magical and amazing people into my life. The people I often think of first now. They are part of my life now and that will not change whether I have a blog or not.

I have had the feeling for quite awhile that its  time for a bit of a change, a shift in my focus. Its  been happening naturally over these past 3 years and it feels like the right time. With massive change in life come massive growth.  A change in my perceptions, lifestyle and my  health.

The changes are still occurring and that's the exciting part.  I'm not closing the online door forever,  I can see that I will be back somewhere in some shape or form (hopefully soon). Just not as Java Jane anymore.

So there it is, a post about de-cluttering which so happens to be my last post  on this blog.  A little sad to say goodbye, but exciting at what the future may have in store for me.

Love and light
Java Jane
 

Adventures of June

What an extraordinary start to Winter. Its funny to think that in one short month I have made some  exciting and scary life changes.  I call it putting destiny in my own hands.

Now when I look back over June I would have to say it was my greatest month so far this year.

I have dreaded June for oh so long, but I think I am past all of that now. I approached it from such a different mindset and although I did let myself grieve a little for the life lost, I embraced all the the remarkable things that are happening in my life too.

In embracing this new found zest, I found that I had some confidence, not much, but just enough to make some big big changes of the serious risk taking kind.   I have tried new and wondrous things.
I have stepped way out of the border of that comfort zone I have myself imprisoned in and have enjoyed so many new adventures.

I know life is going to get tremendously busy  and much trickier to navigate, but to be honest I wouldn't have it any other way.

I want to make sure I have memories of each month, as I can see the rest of this year is going to be swallowed up with work/study/parenting/sleep on repeat.  So I thought I would start to document my favourite moments of each month to remind myself of all the wonder in my life. 

Here are a few of my favourite June moments...

~ I got all dressed up with my gorgeous friend to see the Great Gatsby. We were supporting a local charity "Women of the West",  more specifically for  Women's Health West,  who are based in Footscray. These amazing ladies are committed to improving equity and justice for women in Melbourne’s western region. They provide shelter for women and their children escaping family violence.  Such a great cause to get behind. We couldn't not go! 

I also loved seeing my favourite book made into a film. The story always breaks my heart, but I do still think I like the Robert Redford/Mia Farrow version better!

~ Spending time with my dear friend Pip, from Bub, Sweat and Tears. We attended the Mind, Body Spirit festival in Melbourne. Not everything there was for us, but we sought out the things that we wanted and came away with some great products. My favourite was the Cacao Cashew Clusters. An amazing sweet treat and energy booster in one!  You only need a small handful to get rid of any sweet cravings! 

I just love spending time with great friends, I love the laughter and energy and I come away feeling so rejuvenated and inspired. 

~ My little guy is growing so damn fast. It wasn't all that long ago he couldn't write a thing and now he is writing the names of his favourite superheroes! Bless his little heart! Soon he will be writing his own stories!  He has a glorious little imagination, I cannot wait to see where his writing will take him. 

~ I spent two Saturdays of June going to local Farmers markets in my area. I am so lucky that my local one is right across the road from me. I love to go and wander, Darby gets his face painted and I pick up some yummy local produce. 

My sister and I went to the Ceres Farmers market in Brunswick. It has a brilliant array of produce and awesome health food shop on site as well. 

~ Afternoons out with my little guy.  Every week he grows some more and I am trying to take in his 5 year old soul for as long as possible, before long he will be at birthday number 6 (gulp). 

~ We had our first parent teacher interview. It was a time for us to hear what the teacher had to say about Darby's progress at school.   I was a little scared,  I feel like it wasn't that long ago that my mum was going to my interviews!

These  were some of  the words his teacher used to describe him -   delightful, compassionate, cheeky, a beautiful heart, resilient, adaptable to change, all reflective of how he must have been bought up.   My heart swelled  and although I had to fight back the tears, I felt a little bit proud.

~ I helped my gorgeous sister move into the most stunning apartment.  It has character and warmth and I now love spending time there. It is even closer to me which is an extra bonus! I have spent so much time there now, it is like my second home. 

~ I made the most of the plethora of health books and dvds my sister has and started reading and watching in any spare moment I had. My favourites were Food Matters, Hungry for Change and Lets be Frank. All motivational and all leading me to some big decisions about what I want to do!

~ I discovered a love for Spirulina, I started taking this in May to help cure my cold, and I have been addicted ever since. My energy levels are so much higher and I really notice it if I haven't had it for a day!

~ Darby and I began meditating. Thanks to some recommendations from the lovely and wise Amelia at Nurture and Shine  I finally downloaded some apps on my phone.  Darby likes the Smiling Mind, whereas I prefer Headspace (I love the sound of the guys voice!)  We haven't looked back really, although we need to do them more in the day time to relax our mind, instead of in bed as we often both just nod off to sleep.

~ It took me a long time to discover my local Japanese restaurant, but I am so glad I did. I have become rather addicted. Their sushi is the best I have had, fresh and nutritious and the Miso soup is so nourishing and warming, I have fallen for it hard. Luckily Darby has adopted Japanese as his favourite food too. We have been here a few times for dinner now, its very popular in the area and you have to book ahead. 

http://www.ajitoya.com.au

~Lastly I took the plunge and applied for  the course I had been wanting to do for so long. It felt so right and I now feel complete. 

I am eager to start, even though I am petrified of the unknown, and how I will manage it with everything else, the time is just right and there is no point holding back now! I'm going to give it a good old crack! I have overcome other challenges in life, and this is just another one.

I just have to have the end game in sight to keep me motivated along the way. I think a vision board is calling my name! 

Until next time...  

Times are a changing.....

So I have some news....  Big news for me anyway,  I took a massive (and I mean massive) leap of faith last week to enter the world of  study again.

Having been out of university now for 13 years, I had a calling. A growing desire that could no longer be ignored.  I have enrolled in a Bachelor of Health Science in Nutritional Medicine meaning in 6 years I will be a nutritionist.

I should have started this course years ago, when I first wanted to but for some reason I put it off back then. A time when life was a little rough and my health was not great, just before my breakup and on the verge of my 30th.   Instinctively I must have known life was going to  get a little bit messy and complicated. So I put it on the back burner. I was too scared of the  time, effort, and the unknown.  

This time is completely different though. Life is pretty good for me now. I am calm, happy, and  resilient.  I  am committed and I am driven, I am focused and I am more passionate than ever to make this work. To be honest I don't care that I will be 40 when I graduate! That will be the start of a new era for me.  I'm  so excited!

I have loved working in the Health and Wellbeing industry for the past 8 years, but this will be something completely new and totally out of my comfort zone, but when you have a sign and just too many reasons to do it, I just had to.

What have I got to lose? Nothing.  If things don't work out, that's ok. I listened to my heart and I took a chance. I  won't die living with the regrets of the "if only". It is going to be a massive juggle managing part time work, single motherhood and study, but I am so determined to make this work, and that is all that matters.

The desire to do this course has been like a drum in my heart constantly playing, slowly getting louder, and louder and louder. In the last few weeks it was all I could hear. Until a point on Wednesday when it became deafening and I came home and applied online right there and then.  The sheer excitement that came from that was one I cannot describe, and then that letter to me on Friday to say I was accepted, it blew me away. I was beyond words excited
 

I have always had the fear that the best years of my life were already behind me, but I am now thinking that they do  in fact stand before me, waiting for me to open that door and leap in. The world of unknowns scares me, but it is is exhilarating to think of all the beautiful, magical things to come. 

 

Lately

I have been a little absent around here lately.

I think it's that I find May and June hard months to get through. It isn't helped by this oppressive winter  that has set in. Why does winter have to be so long!
Further more my freezing little box that I call my apartment makes me want to retreat under a big doona.  So many a night lately, instead of sitting in front of the computer screen trying to tap out a post, I opt for my cozy and warm bed. {I am sure most of my ideas go on hibernation too!)

To be honest though, my absence is mostly due to the fog of another year being a single mama gently  lifting.  The haze that was my breakup is getting further and further in our past and I feel it getting lighter  everyday.
I see my life and dreams moving forward. Healing, growing, evolving.  I celebrate this each and every day. I have to, there is no point trying to judge or  feel guilty for all the water thats travelled under the bridge!  I have to smile. It did take me  quite a while to get here and to see things like that!

Yet the quietness that surrounds me in June is my hearts way of saying it is ok to take it it slow this month, to take stock and reflect on the journey to date.
The enormity of  everything  didn't register back then, Back then it was all about survival. Not to sit around lamenting.  I had an almost 3 year old to look after and he reminded me daily that I was on the right path.  It was a hard path, but it was worth taking. He still does remind me everyday as he grows up and I see his beautiful little soul flourish.

I have also been  quiet as I have been pondering whether it's time to start something new, give up this little blog. Maybe it's served it's purpose in the grieving process.  Maybe it is time to start afresh. Something lively, something passionate, something that serves my personality as it is now, not as it was back then.

But what?  I'm not even sure I can answer that question! And when I think about what I really want to do, that little seed of self doubt plants itself and I put the idea aside.  I make excuses and tell myself things that I know I shouldn't. That I am hopeless, and talentless, and can't write, I have nothing to offer.  Luckily though I am not listening to that little voice anymore, I am choosing to ignore it.  All it does is fuel me more to prove it wrong.  {Oh what funny games we play with our own heads!}

Anyway I'm not sure what I'm going to do as yet, I'm sure that answer will come to me. My brain is constantly thinking and thinking, and whenever an idea pops up, I am jotting them down (even if its at 2.00am!) These ideas could lead me down an exciting  path, who knows.

Maybe in the springtime, when the sun comes out, my ideas will come to blossom ...... 

Dreams....

Dreams are a pretty funny thing aren't they? What do they really mean? 

All I know is I  have been having alot of them lately, some saved for when I am sleeping, but mostly they have occurred in my waking hours.  I suppose you can call this daydreaming!  Yes, I am the biggest of daydreamers.  I know I can get totally lost in my thoughts, visions, goals. I completely lose myself in them.

I dream about many things, how I would like to live my life, the jobs I imagine doing. The twists and turns I want my career to take, the learning I am yearning to do, and the paths I need to take to get there. 

I dream about a future partner, no one in particular, just an idea of what life might be like. 

I love how my dreams manifest into positive thoughts, that seem to spiral into my living, breathing daily life.   I am just hoping that I what I have going on in my head will eventually happen in my real world. 

I am sure they all will, I just have to be patient, ride the waves and work hard at making these dreams of mine a reality. 

Recipe: Lemon, Lime and Orange balls {of happiness!!}

I have been on a baking frenzy of late. 

It seems every single night I make something different, try something new, and invent more recipes of the healthy kind. I just  cant get enough!!  My love of experimenting is in my genes!  

Lately all my recipes have been of the chocolate kind. I love using the  sublime and so good for you Cacao.  I love its taste and the decadence that comes with eating this healthy chocolate.  Yet I was searching for a lighter, more refreshing treat! Something that would cleanse my palate. So I came up with these little beauties. They remind me of the lemon slice that my mum would sell in her old cafe. Lots of nostalgic memories of  downing a lemon slice and that tart cirtrus lemon flavour, but so much better for you!

For these balls I added some lime and orange for an all round citrus twist! Darby loved helping me make them and rolling them into little bite size balls!
 

Its a pity that he can't take any to school (due to the nuts and seeds). They would make a great snack to get him through the day, so we have to save them for an after school treat!  I love it when he gobbles them up with such gusto.

You can mix and match any of the ingredients really to suit yourself. I like to be generous with the lemon/lime/orange to give that real burst of fresh flavour! 

They truly are delicious - super easy,  and adjustable to your taste buds. Throw in anything you love... why not give them a go! 

Recipe

1 1/4 cup of nut meal (I make this myself and used a mix of almond, cashew, Brazil nut and sunflower seeds) 

1 cup of desiccated or shredded coconut

1/4 cup of coconut flour

2 tbs of quinoa flakes 

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla powder (I use the Loving Earth one) 

2 tbs of chia seeds

2 tbs of lemon juice

2 tbs of orange juice 

1 tbs of lime juice

1tsp of lemon, orange, lime rind combined (only if you are using organic fruits)

2 tbs of rice malt syrup, coconut sugar or honey

3 tbs of coconut oil 

1tsp of Maca and Mesquite Powder (totally optional)

Extra Coconut, sesame seeds, or chia seeds to roll them in. 

 

Mix the dry ingredients together until all well combined. Juice the lemon, lime and orange, add then rice malt syrup to it. Add the juice and syrup to the dry mixture and stir well. Melt the coconut oil and pour into the mixture and stir again. It should be sticky but easy enough to roll balls in your hands. Roll the balls in  either coconut/chia/sesame seeds. The mixture should make around 40 smallish balls. Once you have rolled them all, refrigerate or freeze for 1 hour and then you are able to enjoy!!

Enjoy
xx 

20/52

Oh  I wish he was laughing at me!! In reality he is laughing at Batman (oh what a surprise!)   Darby has been very tired this week, and has battled with nightmares, which has left us both drained of energy and lacking in quality sleep!  So its  so nice to see a giggle back on his face!

My favourite picture from last week was  from Mother Down under . The picture taken in front of that magical wall on a momentous occasion in her little boys life!

Linking up in this incredible project with Jodi at Che and Fidel! 

Until next time 

The small steps I took to a happier 2013 ....

 

Earlier in the week I blogged about the card ripping episode. Yes that's right,  I had a horrible card holding me captive. By ripping it up and removing it from my life signified the final step in acknowledging I don't live in that negative and pessimistic mindset anymore. I am now striving to live a happier and healthier life, A life filled with contentment and joy and the people and things I love.  

I thought I would share some of the little things I have done this year that have made all the difference in turning my life around. As a lovely and inspiring friend put it yesterday, its the little things that end up making the bigger picture.  She was so right. Just including a few of these things everyday has made all the difference in how I feel. 

 

- Spending quality time in my own company when Darby is at school, whether that is time at home just relaxing,  out for a coffee just watching the world go by, or sitting somewhere and just daydreaming;

- Wearing bright coloured jewellery, especially of the neon yellow kind! It really does brighten up my mood and my outfits!

- Drinks of nice and hot tea in pretty cups, I am liking the Yogi brand in Chai Roobios, and I can never ever go past my all time favourite Lady Grey;
 

- Attending twice weekly dance exercise classes. Its been so much fun to dance around a room to cheesy music, letting all inhibitions go! It gives me a massive buzz, I don't even realise I have been exercising!

- Finally listening to my body and  respecting what it wants and needs. This has been very powerful in ending my dieting mentality for good (all thanks to intuitive eating);

- Trying new foods, and giving up some foods too! In particular I am loving Umbeboshi Plums (thanks to my sister who introduced these to salty little gems) and Bee Pollen (thanks to Amelia over at Nurture and Shine for recommending these little wonders!)  

-  Baking new treats for Darby and myself. I love trying new products and being innovative with the way I incorporate health and fun into our diets!

- Visiting Health food stores;

- Drinking my one and only daily coffee. As much as I look like I am addicted to the stuff, I am not, I could go a day without, and I have. I just enjoy the ritual of going out and trying new things,  it is just  something I love to do!
 

- Making the time to see good friends, this is so good for the soul. Life is busy, but I find because I don't have a partner at home to have adult conversations with, I crave connecting with  people that I love and when I do, it is so reassuring and I always walk away feeling enriched;
 

- Reading inspiring books and blogs, that leave me feeling uplifted and motivated. My favorite books are quite often cook books, so I have indulged in a few that are supporting my new healthy philosophies;

- Walking around our local neighbourhood and taking photos, I love how I see things in a new way when I do this!

- Taking photos of Darby with my new camera. It  really has me stepping outside my comfort zone as I have somehow managed  to teach myself to shoot in Manual mode. I love how this makes my brain really think!
 

- Giving up processed sugar. Making this change has made me feel amazing, clear headed, vibrant and so much happier! It was a very natural process and the longer I go without the better I feel;

- Switching off from work the moment I leave the building. I enjoy the job I do and the people I work with, but when it clocks over 4.30pm, I clear my mind and don't think about work until the next time I walk through that door. This was a hard one for me, but after some bouts of severe stress last year, it was essential for my mental health to do this. Working 3 days a week has given me back that work/life balance I needed;

- Enjoying my Saturday Darby days. Now that he is at school I really treasure the time we spend together on the weekend. We tend to sight see around Melbourne, have lunch and just hang out. After the hustle and bustle of the busy school week, its just nice to reconnect on the weekends;

Most of these are pretty simple things, but they have all added up to greater happiness and sense of self which is what I was striving for. I want to be able to look back in years to come and remember how much I enjoyed my  life! I am not waiting for the future to do that, I am living the life I want now!
 

Until next time,

Jane

Keep calm as life is pretty special after all

I have always thought of myself as a glass half full kind of gal.  I strive to look at the positives in life and not focus on too many of the negatives. I'm not sure I was always like this, but I know for the last  decade or so I  really tried to adopt this mindset.

I didn't notice that my attitude may have been changing awhile ago. I'm pretty sure it was around the time of my breakup. I guess that is only natural when you are going through a significant and unwanted life change.   When I suddenly realised the path I thought I was meant to take, was now not the right one. That I had to turn around and walk the long, dark road back to the fork and then forge out a new path on my own.

I think any significant life change can bring about these unwelcome and depressed feelings. Its never easy I guess, so you could say my positive approach to life was slowly engulfed in a dark cloud of negativity, cynicism and resentment. I forgot how to see the good in the world. It all looked grey to me. I was so incredibly lucky to have Darby, who turned out to be my little beacon who shone the light on my new path. He  kept me going, and gave me hope that one day our future would be bright.

So I remember getting the above card for myself at Typo some time in late 2010. At the time I thought it was great. It rang true to my hurt and the pain I was feeling. Pessimistic much? 

I think I liked its sarcasm and its hopelessness. So representative of my dejected feelings.  I stuck it on my inspiration board that overlooks my bed and that I reflect on every evening before I sleep.  

I suppose I noticed my attitude to life slowly shifting late last year. After I turned 33, I decided that feeling happy was the answer. I know that is quite simplistic, but there was a definite turn in the positive direction, yet that card still hung above my bed and I would almost flinch when I  looked at it everyday.

So today a funny little thing happened. I had this urge, a real urge I couldn't shake. I knew what I wanted to do and when I arrived home after a morning out with one of my dear dear friends, I walked into my room, pulled it down and ripped it in half {oh and then photographed it before throwing in the bin, never to be seen again}. You know what ? It felt amazing! 

I have come a long way since the day I got this. This card has no relevance in my life anymore. I actually think this life  I'm living is pretty darn great! 

Yes I know there are truly crappy times, and periods when things are so so hard, but my overall sense of happiness and joy has blossomed and my opinion on life has shifted.

Life is meant to be a roller coaster. These adversities make us grow stronger, build our resilience,  perseverance, compassion, gratitude and love. They give us character and depth. They shows us how strong you can be and how emotions can grow, change and heal.
I think it is incredibly important that when we are in the midst of these negative times that we are kind to ourselves, that we grieve what has been lost and try our best to appreciate life afterwards. We need to go through that whole grief cycle  (for me that took 2 and a half years!).  Its amazing when you come out of that dark cloud and the clarity you can see.

So now in 2013 I see bright things, happy things, so much hope for the future,  a life  to be enjoyed and  nurtured.  I have seen the fragility of life,  experienced  the immense joy and monumental heartache, I know this is all part of life's course. These are the things we cannot control.
It is the way you feel in your heart and mind that you can and I know that sounds so naive of me, but it has worked in my situation.  I realised if I didn't just love my life or myself just as it is, no one was going to make me. (Very Mr Darcy, I know!)  It was my responsibility to cultivate my own love and happiness from the inside out.  

Its up to me and me only.

Now I am  just after a new card that reflects how I feel!


Until next time

19/52

Hands up Darbs, that football is coming your way!
Here he is eyeing off  Grandpa's big kick as it descends towards him! Luckily it didn't end with a ball in the face and he took the mark!

We spent mothers day relaxing at the park across from our house and Darby spent time playing kick to kick with Pa and honing the skills he is learning at Auskick.  I love watching him play and run, and handball and kick with so much energy!

Linking up in this incredible project with Jodi at Che and Fidel! 

Until next time 

Recipe: My go to cake of the moment

I am always on the lookout for lunch box ideas for Darby, especially those of the healthy kind. I have tried many things this year, and this recipe seems to pass the ultimate test. It actually gets eaten!

More often than not some or most of the lunch comes home at the end of the day untouched, so when I realised this cake was working some magic and catching his attention for just a moment from playing, I knew I was on to a winner! 

I found this  Quinoa, Sweet Potato and Chocolate cake recipe on Hope for Healing's blog, here is my take on the recipe with a few adjustments, I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. 

Quinoa, Sweet Potato and Chocolate Cake 

2/3 cup of Kamut Flour
2/3 cup of Spelt Flour - really any flour is ok, go nuts on what you want, especially if you want to make the recipe gluten free,
1 1/2 cups pre-cooked quinoa
1 cup of sweet potato puree (In this instance it was sweet potato, pumpkin and carrot!)
1/2 cup of Rice Malt Syrup  
1/4 cup of coconut oil (melted) 
1/2 cup of non-dairy milk (I used almond milk, but you could use rice or coconut milk) 
3 TB of cacao powder (today I used 2 TBs of cacao and 1TB of Carob powder for a different take on it) 
1 1/2 ts. of baking powder
1 ts. of baking soda
1/2 ts. of sea salt
1 ts. of ground cinnamon
1/2 ts of vanilla powder 

Note - If I could make the cake just for me, I would add some Chia Seeds or Brazil nut powder, but as I am sending it to school it has to be seed and nut free.  This is hard for someone who adds Chia seeds to everything!

Mix all of the above ingredients together for 1-2 minutes to create a smooth and creamy cake batter. Then pour into a 9x9 circle pan that has been greased with coconut oil.
Bake in a 175 degree oven for  about 50-55 minutes, until you can stick a knife in  the middle of the cake and no gooey-ness comes out. It should be pretty crispy and brown on top, like a brownie (mmmm) . 

 Let cool for 10-15 minutes and then transfer from pan to a plate. On the original recipe there is a wicked Avocado icing, which I haven't  made, but by all means go for it! Who cant resist a layer of yummy chocolate avo icing!  I'll be making it next time.
Cut the cake in slices and store (for me that means the freezer so i can grab them out for our lunches)

It really is a simple cake, but it is full of so much goodness and perfect for these cool nights ahead!  I can see Darby and I sitting all rugged up, munching on this!

Until next time

18/52

This weeks picture is late, but hey thats ok. Life has been happening around here and I always chose life over blogging.
I selected a photo of our recent dinner outing. We had  a Huge Saturday of going everywhere, and we were both EXHAUSTED.
Darby changed into his pyjamas and dressing gown at 4.30pm and we hoppped in the car and headed out to dinner. Such a nice way to spend a Saturday early evening! Just looking at the picture makes me yawn!  Bless!

I just wished I could have been in my pyjamas too!

Linking up in this incredible project with Jodi at Che and Fidel! 

Until next time 

The book that has changed my life (& I haven't even finished it yet!)

Do you ever feel like you have been on a diet of some kind for most of your life? Wanting to lose those few kilos for a special event, a wedding, a milestone birthday or just trying to lose that baby weight (or break up weight!)

Yes, me too!

I couldn't tell you how many times I have tried (and failed) to lose weight. Some successful attempts  but mostly not so successful.
A merry go round of different diets, all offering so much promise, but none really delivering. A bit of weight lost here, a bit more put on there.  It wasn't much fun!

At the end of of 2012, something in me shifted. I felt happier and had a sense of clarity about life that I hadn't had before. Maybe it was just getting older and wiser.
Anyway whatever it was, it made me want to make changes to my life, I finally wanted to nurture myself,  to take the time to look after myself.
As a single parent I really had invested so much time into nourishing Darby, and with finally some time all to my own, I wanted to start caring for myself. I wanted to make changes that weren't going to be just for the short term, but changes I wanted to implement for the rest of my life.

It was fantastic that I wanted to make all of these positive changes but the problem was I didn't know where to start, where to get the kind of assistance that would help.

 I knew a few things that certainly were going to help me in my endeavours:

* I was passionate about health, and the healing powers of food. This has long been something I have read and researched and tested. This inspires me everyday, to use my creative abilities to make amazing tasty food that is good for me  and Darby too.
* I was just as passionate at helping other people achieve their wellness goals, I live and breathe health and wellbeing in my career. This has been my job for the past 8 years and I love it. I know I am good at it too, so now its my turn to practice what I preached!
* I love to cook. Simple as that. Cooking nurtures my soul from the inside out. I am not the best or most sophisticated cook in the world, but I cook with love and I never want to lose that and I don't want to feel restricted to what I can cook because I am on a diet.

I knew these were  all great stepping stones but I just needed some kind of catalyst to start me up.

And it came in March, on a girls weekend away. A group of close girlfriends  discussing varying topics that girls do. We inevitably started talking dieting and body image and it seemed most of us were somewhat on the same page.

Even though it was sad we all had in common failed attempts of losing weight or somewhat distorted body images,  It was comforting to know I wasn't alone.   

My good friend spoke of this book that had helped her get in touch with eating intuitively. I stored the details in the back of my mind and as soon as I got home from my weekend, I downloaded it to my kindle.
It sat there for a week unread and then one Wednesday evening I was home alone, with nothing on TV, I opened it up, and from that moment I have felt changed. 

I'm not sure what shifted, but something did. It was the gentle push at first , but the more I read the more intense my feelings were and the happier and more content I felt.

This book spoke to me, it discussed the notions of failing at every attempt to ever lose weight. It went into great detail about how we reach a rock bottom before we do something.  I  knew  ultimately that  deep down all I was searching for was a sense of wellness, to finally be at peace with my body and peace with food. It taught me techniques on  how to be gentle on myself,  to be my own best friend and  my own coach.

To achieve wellness, not weight loss. To be happy in my own skin and to feel good about myself, not sabotage myself with all that weight loss jargon out there.

It wasn't just a book, but a new way of life. A way of creating a new relationship with my food, my body and my mind.
Its not about weight loss, its about freedom and honouring the body you have. (Weight loss may come over time, but it cant be the main motivator)
I was nodding along as I read, as so much resonated with me, as it would with most people I imagine.

I am  slowly learning to eat based on hunger and what my body actually wants, not a regimented diet, or an elimination of foods. I give my permission to eat any food I like, and you know what, my cravings for  certain foods have gone.  I eat when I am starting to get hungry and I check in with my body when I am eating and stop when I am comfortably full.

I have also given up sugar, it can still be in my diet if I want it to be, but I have realised that it was making me feel crap and I feel so much more balanced without much in my life (more on that another time.)

To say goodbye to that diet mentality and learning to eat intuitively has been amazing. I feel happier, calmer, and I finally have a sense of wellbeing that I haven't had for a long time.  I am respecting my body and what it wants. I eat healthily, not because I should, but because I want to. I want to nurture my body, give back to it, what its given to me.
I want to exercise because it makes me feel good, it gives me energy and that sense of wellness. I exercise because it puts a smile on myself, not because I want to be a size 10.

I have recommended this book to my sister and a few others who I think would benefit as much as I have. 

And to be honest I have only read 50% of the book, but it has already changed my whole perspective, I can only imagine that the other 50% will continue change my outlook.

 I know it will delve more into the emotional side of eating and respecting your body.   I can see a much  more positive future, where food does not rule, and I have a sense of wellness that has eluded me for so long, where self belief in my body answers back to any of those negative feelings.

I know there will be setbacks and times when I may not follow the principles outlined, but with this way of eating, there is no shame or guilt. A setback is just part of the journey.

My only regret is not reading this earlier in life.

If you want to check out the book I am talking about, head over to the Intuitive Eating website,  It is full of useful information and is definitely worth a look if you are ready to make a change the way you view yourself, diets and food.
Until next time
Java Jane

*This is in no way a sponsored post, I am just really passionate at how much this book so far has changed my outlook on dieting and how I want to live my life. 

17/52

This past week I haven't picked up my camera. It's not that I haven't wanted to but it was about time.  I think my body was still trying to catch up with last weeks trip away for work. I have been exhausted every night. Darby and I have been sharing the same 8.00pm bedtime.

Hoping this next week gives me a little more balance.

On the upside Darby and I were able to spend some much needed time together on Anzac day. {when the above pic was taken}

Ill be back on track next week.

Linking up in this incredible project with Jodi at Che and Fidel! 

Until next time 

16/52

Hello Bright eyes, oh you make my world go round and I love you very much! Your journey this year has been so exciting.  I have loved watching you grow and develop in leaps and bound. 

This week you went back to school after your school holidays. It was so nice to have been able to spend so much time with you - one on one.

You were excited to be putting your uniform back on, jumping out of your skin to see your friends (and your teacher).  You told me as we walked in the school gates that school is cool, and that was all I needed to hear. I knew you would be fine on your first day back. No sign of apprehension, just hugs for your friends and teacher and you got on with your day.

You are learning and growing and changing everyday and I am so very proud. 

Linking up in this incredible project with Jodi at Che and Fidel! 

Until next time 

15/52

I wrote yesterday about Darby's love for Batman. So its no surprise when he sees a face painting stand that he begs me to let him have his face painted!

I can  never seem to say no.  If I had a chance (or wasn't going to get embarrassed) I would get mine painted too.  So for the afternoon he personified his favourite superhero. As you do!

{Getting the black paint off was rather tricky and he is still sporting what looks to be black fine lines under his eyes this morning}

The joys of being young again......

Linking up in this incredible project with Jodi at Che and Fidel! 

Until next time 

The Batman love affair continues

For the past 18 months or so Batman has featured heavily in our lives. He is Darby's greatest love, well apart from me and his dad I hope (although I do question that from time to time!)

A boy at the age of five,  I can kind of get that! Batman, is strong, cool under pressure, rather witty and someone with a strict moral code.

He is a leader, and a friend. He is an only child but has many allies. Unlike all other superheroes he doesn't have any superpowers, none at all.  He is just someone who is passionate about what he believes in and has worked really hard to make himself powerful not only physically but mentally. (Maybe I should take a leaf out of his book!)  

I remind Darby of these qualities every day, and when the costume comes out, Darby tries his best to embody that character,  to stand up taller, to stride with confidence, to be friendly and to look out for others. It is adorable to watch!

So this week when he put the costume on and asked me kindly to put on his mask and cape, I  just couldn't  say no. 

I do shake my head a little, but mostly I walk next to him, hand in hand,  with pride in my eyes.

Until Next time,