Lately

I have been a little absent around here lately.

I think it's that I find May and June hard months to get through. It isn't helped by this oppressive winter  that has set in. Why does winter have to be so long!
Further more my freezing little box that I call my apartment makes me want to retreat under a big doona.  So many a night lately, instead of sitting in front of the computer screen trying to tap out a post, I opt for my cozy and warm bed. {I am sure most of my ideas go on hibernation too!)

To be honest though, my absence is mostly due to the fog of another year being a single mama gently  lifting.  The haze that was my breakup is getting further and further in our past and I feel it getting lighter  everyday.
I see my life and dreams moving forward. Healing, growing, evolving.  I celebrate this each and every day. I have to, there is no point trying to judge or  feel guilty for all the water thats travelled under the bridge!  I have to smile. It did take me  quite a while to get here and to see things like that!

Yet the quietness that surrounds me in June is my hearts way of saying it is ok to take it it slow this month, to take stock and reflect on the journey to date.
The enormity of  everything  didn't register back then, Back then it was all about survival. Not to sit around lamenting.  I had an almost 3 year old to look after and he reminded me daily that I was on the right path.  It was a hard path, but it was worth taking. He still does remind me everyday as he grows up and I see his beautiful little soul flourish.

I have also been  quiet as I have been pondering whether it's time to start something new, give up this little blog. Maybe it's served it's purpose in the grieving process.  Maybe it is time to start afresh. Something lively, something passionate, something that serves my personality as it is now, not as it was back then.

But what?  I'm not even sure I can answer that question! And when I think about what I really want to do, that little seed of self doubt plants itself and I put the idea aside.  I make excuses and tell myself things that I know I shouldn't. That I am hopeless, and talentless, and can't write, I have nothing to offer.  Luckily though I am not listening to that little voice anymore, I am choosing to ignore it.  All it does is fuel me more to prove it wrong.  {Oh what funny games we play with our own heads!}

Anyway I'm not sure what I'm going to do as yet, I'm sure that answer will come to me. My brain is constantly thinking and thinking, and whenever an idea pops up, I am jotting them down (even if its at 2.00am!) These ideas could lead me down an exciting  path, who knows.

Maybe in the springtime, when the sun comes out, my ideas will come to blossom ...... 

The return of MC!

Source: google.co.in via Anurita on Pinterest

  

Darby love  Master Chef. Full stop!

Darby has loved Master Chef since the juggernaut  first crashed onto Australian screens way  back in 2009.... At first his love for season one was mainly about the music. Katy Perry's infectious hit "Hot and Cold"that featured on the start. 

He was about 20 months and music was everything in his little world. He would bop his body away every night, then have his bottle, book and go to bed.. It became part of his end  of day routine. 

It was the only TV show that both his mum and his dad enjoyed watching together! A very rare thing! So we spent this family time all together!! And it was bliss.... 

Next he started recognising the judges on street signs and in newspapers.. It really was his first brand recognition (before it really was a brand!) Then it was recognising the judges, George, Gary and Matt... He developed a real man crush on these guys from this very early age.....

A year later in season 2 he still loved the music but it became much more than that.... To help with his speech difficulties we taught him to say all of the judges names, the brands- Coles, Curtis etc. We would use the Masterchef magazine like a big Picture Book to read to him at night, getting him to point out the judges, foods, places, anything really... It was such a fun way for him to learn and put sentences together (Check out this cute video of him learning to speak  reading the master chef magazine! he was so cute... and he makes me so proud that he has come such a long way with his talking!) 

Through this second season the continuity of the familiar faces,  helped with the turmoil of the breakdown of both of our worlds ... 

Our breakup happened in the middle of Season 2. 

Master chef became a real night time comforter, it was our escape from reality, something we loved doing together. It was also so  nice when we were settling into our new place.... This foreign place we had landed ourselves in.. but it remained unchained. Im sure he didn't really take that much in when he watched it.. and he was almost always asleep at the end of each episode! 

Darby was sad when it ended  and so was I.. it came a week or two of living by ourselves.. and came when I was feeling vulnerable and the warm familiarity was now gone for another year.

Season 3 came around and Darby's interest was at fever pitch, like most people I lost a bit of interest in it , but Darby's passion never waned! By now he knew all the contestants names now too...

And as year 4  starts, he counts Matt, George and Gary as some of his closest friends.. Although George is his fave... 

With his bedtime routine shot.. This little injection of positivity can't be doing too much harm can it?? I don't know the answer to this question! It's hard to know really...  Maybe he has an underlying desire to be a chef (his favourite kids movie is Ratatouille after all - and mine secretly too!) I'm sure by the time they decide to pull the pin on it, he will have lost interest whenever that may be..... But for now  these next three or so months he is held captive under its magic  spell!! Its cheesy and sometimes contrived... but it makes him  happy (and although Ill be flicking the channel when it clashes with the Voice) and I secretly don't mind much either! 

Until Next time.. Life is too short for Crappy coffee..