Somehow I have found the time and energy to write the story and have managed to churn out a a long long long post... I probably should have split it up but I just kept typing!
Like my star sign, Sagiiturius.... my life has been ruled by my hips... yes they are wide and childbearing, but they have been to hell and back and stayed strong, they are the foundation to my body.. when they fail, everything seems to fall apart!
I have not let them define who I am and the person I have become....Although some of my personality traits, good and bad probably come from dealing with this pain every day of my life.....
Except for the odd Drama Queen moments I know I am a better person because of the journey my legs have taken me on.....
So the other day I had a familiar twinge in my left hip... a pain that I know far too well, and to be honest I don't want to feel, not for the next 10 years anyway. You see, I have had a rocky relationship with my right hip for some time now, 32 years to be exact..... my left hip, has served me well, not perfect but its been on its best behaviour until now, never really causing me trouble and basically doing as it anatomically should...
It was like waking and my left hip sarcastically exclaiming "I'm here, you can no longer ignore me ".....
A few days later and it seems to be ok, only twinging every so often, so I have my fingers and toes tightly crossed...
So I better go back to the start and explain my dodgy right hip's history from beginning to now...
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| My godmother and I - mm am I a boy?? I certainly look like it here |
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| In my children's hospital shirt in my special pram... nice holes in my plaster!! |
I was one of the unfortunate bubs born with dislocated hips.... not a disaster really .... The only problem it seemed was they weren't picked up in those routine tests that are done on newborns soon as they exit the womb.. nope not in the 70's (actually it became mandatory in the 80's only a month after I was born) .... so they were dislocated from day one.... from all reports I seemed to be a happy enough baby, chubby as anything ... but I just couldn't move much.. my mum took me to doctors when I couldn't move my legs properly and was showing no interest in sitting, rolling or crawling.. but they dismissed her as a first time mum who was just overly concerned... finally someone listened to her and saw the quite obvious problem.. I was 10 months old and I had dislocated hips!!
I immediately taken to the Royal Children's hospital and put in plaster... a month for every month I was old .. so from 10 months to almost 2 years I was in plaster.. from ankle to waist... with only a little slit for you know what!!
I learnt to crawl, (on my mum and dads gravel driveway and rip mighty big holes in my plaster) and finally to walk when my legs were free at almost two..
My parents spent a fair time travelling from the country down to Melbourne to have my plaster changed every month... I was lucky I had been chubby as a baby.. I lost quite a lot of weight with the hospital stays! I can only imagine it would have been quite distressing for my parents at the time.. I cant remember it.. except I have a vivid memory of having my plaster sawn off my legs, I would have been almost 2, not sure its a dream or a memory..
I immediately taken to the Royal Children's hospital and put in plaster... a month for every month I was old .. so from 10 months to almost 2 years I was in plaster.. from ankle to waist... with only a little slit for you know what!!
I learnt to crawl, (on my mum and dads gravel driveway and rip mighty big holes in my plaster) and finally to walk when my legs were free at almost two..
My parents spent a fair time travelling from the country down to Melbourne to have my plaster changed every month... I was lucky I had been chubby as a baby.. I lost quite a lot of weight with the hospital stays! I can only imagine it would have been quite distressing for my parents at the time.. I cant remember it.. except I have a vivid memory of having my plaster sawn off my legs, I would have been almost 2, not sure its a dream or a memory..
After that I was all good... but then around the age of 4 , my parents noticed I started limping a lot and I described an aching pain in my hips, I was then diagnosed with Perthes disease, a degenerative bone disease in my right hip.. something a lot more common in boys than in girls...
I can't really remember it having a big impact, but it did mean I got out of lots of activities at school .. no high jump or hurdles for me ...
The downside I was often the last one picked in a sports team as I was slowest and couldn't really run.. I did manage to play netball and basketball and did lots of swimming, so by no means was I missing out on active childhood..
I can't really remember it having a big impact, but it did mean I got out of lots of activities at school .. no high jump or hurdles for me ...
The downside I was often the last one picked in a sports team as I was slowest and couldn't really run.. I did manage to play netball and basketball and did lots of swimming, so by no means was I missing out on active childhood..
My hips then didn't give me much trouble again... it was only the odd immature boy at high school who would tease me for my slight limp, which only happened when I was tired and on my legs for too long...
At my year 10 camp to Central Australia I flatly refused climbing Ayres Rock.. only to be talked into climbing UP THE the whole thing!! Although 2 male teachers had to carry me down the last 50 or so metres off the rock ...what a sight that must have been! I remember my legs shaking and shaking for some time after that.. probably not from pain but from sheer shock that I could do such a thing!! I'm sure my hips have had a lot to do with a low self confidence over my life, not allowing me to step to of my comfort zone...
My hips stayed all happy... my whole tweens and into my 21st year.. (my knee on the other hand dislocated a few times... which was more horrifying than anything.. if you have ever seen those footy players knees dislocate on the field and they have to pop it back in.. I have been there done that.. on more than one occasion!)
So in my 21st year the familiar hip pain that I hadn't felt for years came back.. I started limping all the time and I was generally just uncomfortable, depressed and getting fat from my inactivity... I took myself begrudgingly to the GP and he referred me to an Orthopedic surgeon.. after a multitude and hundreds of dollars later, I had had every Xray, Cat Scan and MRI anyone could have of there lower body, I was sent to a back specialist, but in the end I found Dr Young... The Hip Doctor!!!
I have seen him more times than I can count now .... In my first appointment, it him about 2 mins into the conversation and one look at my Xray to mention the S word!! mmmm it looked like I was going to have surgery!
My first surgery was booked for December 2001 and I really was so naive.. At 21 I don't think I took that much in.. and to be honest and to his apology and credit later Dr Young did not prepare me very well with what was to expect, because what came next was a very rude awakening.. into a life and pain I was not familiar with!
My first operation a Periacetabular Osteotomy was in the hope I didn't have to have a Hip replacement, basically it was a hip reconstruction... to put it where it was meant to be, in hind sight it was to get my hip in the best position for the hip replacement to come...!!
Without the gory details, I basically had my Femur (the largest bone in the body) cut in half and moved around.. and then a rod shoved down it.. nice!!
Without the gory details, I basically had my Femur (the largest bone in the body) cut in half and moved around.. and then a rod shoved down it.. nice!!
So I was not prepared for the pain I had to endure.. I remember my mum and sister sitting by my bed in tears as I was screaming and crying in so much pain.. and I had all the pain meds I could handle... I soon learnt that Morphine was not my friend.. my body was allergic to it...
I spent the next 5 or 6 weeks being looked after by my parents, including showering and all things that as a 22 year old you wouldn't want your parents to be doing or knowing..
I was on crutches for the next 6 months or so and went about my daily life as normal, this included nights out to bars and pubs... (I still don't know why and earth I did this...no common sense obviously!) catching a tram to work every day...
So it was no wonder after about 3 months I was back in hospital as I had developed a haematoma (blood clot) around the top of my hip!
So off for another 2 nights in hospital... and not even a month later I was back in again for my rod to be removed.. This time it was more serious.. The rod had splintered in my leg.. too many falls had caused this (those damn crutches had a habit of slipping on anything!)
My surgeon warned me that my leg was still broken, the rod was meant to be in for at least another 6 months for my bone to heal and fuse!! I was on strict strict instructions not to fall over.... A very hard ask of someone who practically trips over every day!!! But I managed to keep my promise and keep myself away from the operating table for the next 6 months!
Phew... I had a arthroscope at the end of the year to make sure it was all ok... and in 2003 I managed to have surgery free year!
2004 was not to be so lucky.. after a few falls (surprise surprise) on my right knee... I knew it was not in good shape.. but I waited too long to see my surgeon about it..
I managed to get an appointment and the next day I was being wheeled into theatre for a knee reconstruction... it was to tighten the ligaments around my kneecap so it wouldn't dislocate anymore... Out of all my operations this was one of the most painful and hardest to get over.. it really took it out of me.. I think I would have slipped into a deep depression, but it was at the same time I started going out with Dave.. and falling head over heels seemed to take some of the pain away!
In the December I was scheduled to have another massive surgery on my right hip, again trying to stop me from having a replacement... this surgery meant I needed a few months of work to rehabilitate.
Luckily for me the surgery was cancelled, at the time I was shattered, but in retrospect it was the best thing that could have happened...
I managed to get through the next 18 months with the odd Arthroscope to keep an eye on my hip, until the moment came on a Friday afternoon in March 2006...
At an appointment with Dr Young and myself (it always was the way when I was being delivered the biggest news aka surgery I was always by myself!) at the age of 26 I was told I would need a hip replacement.
The hip replacement I was hoping was still 10 years away .. was now upon me.. I still have vivid memories of that day... of my hands shaking as I booked Friday May 12 as my surgery date... and walking out of the doctors rooms, holding in the tears until I was out on the street and the sunglasses were on my face.. of making the call to Dave to tell him... of sobbing into the phone as I called my mum and dad.. I really did fall apart...
I don't know why I was so upset.. It felt like my own body had failed me..
Looking back I wished I had seen it as an opportunity to heal my body and to make it better... in the months prior to my surgery my mindset shifted and I only looked at the positives. My resilience kicked in and to be honest it hasn't ever gone away....
This time I was organised... in the 6 weeks leading up to the surgery I tried to get in the best shape I could... I read all the information I could get my hands on, I met up with other young people who had had the procedure.. My surgeon had just undergone the same surgery a few months earlier, so he really did empathise with me this time.. he even wrote a recovery guide to help me undestand what was going to happen and the aftermath ...
The day rolled around and I really wasn't that nervous.. I looked at my positive future.. and how this was going to help me ...... I knew it would be painful and yes it was out of this world painful... I couldn't get enough of pethidine.. or any other drug they threw at me... Some of the more painful moments were the relatively smaller ones, like getting the drip removed... having the catheter taken out... all the ones I was awake for!!
I had 4 -5 weeks off work... spent mostly at my mum and dads house.. the perfect place to relax and do nothing... those weeks of recovery were so nice.. I did have bad days.. but I could physically see I was getting better every day....
I really soothed my soul whilst I was there.. I focused on other things, like my diet, I lost so much weight... doing nothing meant I ate next to nothing too! I looked after my skin, I read trashy mags, I watched trashy tv, I would go for drives with my mum.. I would spend the weekends with Dave ... He would wheel me around the shopping centres of Bendigo.. and we would go for coffee... It was such a nice healing time for me...
I enjoyed all these simple things and let my body's healing powers take care of themselves ! It was really remarkable!
Within 6 weeks of my operation I was off crutches and within 8 weeks I was doing a pump class... Even I was astounded ....
I realised this was the best thing that has ever happened to me... The changes were remarkable... I am a huge hip replacement advocate now.... I know in time, that I will wear this one out... and I know I will need this surgery again some day .. and on the other leg too... I know my legs will go through a whole lot more over their life span... but its not all bad...
I managed to birth Darby naturally a year later, I have managed to walk marathons.. do all the things I have needed to... I have just adapted them to my own abilities... They dont hold me back, nor do they define me....
They are part of who I am and am proud of the journey they have taken me on, I don't know of a life without them being as they are..... Mostly I am glad that they have left me with the strength and resilience I didn't know existed...
(sorry for the long post!)
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| All glammed up and no where to go!!! That stick in the air was to help me get out of bed... I got a lot of use out of all the smorgasbord of products from the oldies shops, including a cool toilet seat!! |
I was on crutches for the next 6 months or so and went about my daily life as normal, this included nights out to bars and pubs... (I still don't know why and earth I did this...no common sense obviously!) catching a tram to work every day...
So it was no wonder after about 3 months I was back in hospital as I had developed a haematoma (blood clot) around the top of my hip!
So off for another 2 nights in hospital... and not even a month later I was back in again for my rod to be removed.. This time it was more serious.. The rod had splintered in my leg.. too many falls had caused this (those damn crutches had a habit of slipping on anything!)
My surgeon warned me that my leg was still broken, the rod was meant to be in for at least another 6 months for my bone to heal and fuse!! I was on strict strict instructions not to fall over.... A very hard ask of someone who practically trips over every day!!! But I managed to keep my promise and keep myself away from the operating table for the next 6 months!
Phew... I had a arthroscope at the end of the year to make sure it was all ok... and in 2003 I managed to have surgery free year!
2004 was not to be so lucky.. after a few falls (surprise surprise) on my right knee... I knew it was not in good shape.. but I waited too long to see my surgeon about it..
I managed to get an appointment and the next day I was being wheeled into theatre for a knee reconstruction... it was to tighten the ligaments around my kneecap so it wouldn't dislocate anymore... Out of all my operations this was one of the most painful and hardest to get over.. it really took it out of me.. I think I would have slipped into a deep depression, but it was at the same time I started going out with Dave.. and falling head over heels seemed to take some of the pain away!
In the December I was scheduled to have another massive surgery on my right hip, again trying to stop me from having a replacement... this surgery meant I needed a few months of work to rehabilitate.
Luckily for me the surgery was cancelled, at the time I was shattered, but in retrospect it was the best thing that could have happened...
I managed to get through the next 18 months with the odd Arthroscope to keep an eye on my hip, until the moment came on a Friday afternoon in March 2006...
At an appointment with Dr Young and myself (it always was the way when I was being delivered the biggest news aka surgery I was always by myself!) at the age of 26 I was told I would need a hip replacement.
The hip replacement I was hoping was still 10 years away .. was now upon me.. I still have vivid memories of that day... of my hands shaking as I booked Friday May 12 as my surgery date... and walking out of the doctors rooms, holding in the tears until I was out on the street and the sunglasses were on my face.. of making the call to Dave to tell him... of sobbing into the phone as I called my mum and dad.. I really did fall apart...
I don't know why I was so upset.. It felt like my own body had failed me..
Looking back I wished I had seen it as an opportunity to heal my body and to make it better... in the months prior to my surgery my mindset shifted and I only looked at the positives. My resilience kicked in and to be honest it hasn't ever gone away....
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Just after my Hip Replacement operation.... looking doped up!!!!
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| Day 3 after Hip replacement - I already have the makeup back on!!! I must be ok! |
I had 4 -5 weeks off work... spent mostly at my mum and dads house.. the perfect place to relax and do nothing... those weeks of recovery were so nice.. I did have bad days.. but I could physically see I was getting better every day....
I really soothed my soul whilst I was there.. I focused on other things, like my diet, I lost so much weight... doing nothing meant I ate next to nothing too! I looked after my skin, I read trashy mags, I watched trashy tv, I would go for drives with my mum.. I would spend the weekends with Dave ... He would wheel me around the shopping centres of Bendigo.. and we would go for coffee... It was such a nice healing time for me...
I enjoyed all these simple things and let my body's healing powers take care of themselves ! It was really remarkable!
Within 6 weeks of my operation I was off crutches and within 8 weeks I was doing a pump class... Even I was astounded ....
I realised this was the best thing that has ever happened to me... The changes were remarkable... I am a huge hip replacement advocate now.... I know in time, that I will wear this one out... and I know I will need this surgery again some day .. and on the other leg too... I know my legs will go through a whole lot more over their life span... but its not all bad...
I managed to birth Darby naturally a year later, I have managed to walk marathons.. do all the things I have needed to... I have just adapted them to my own abilities... They dont hold me back, nor do they define me....
They are part of who I am and am proud of the journey they have taken me on, I don't know of a life without them being as they are..... Mostly I am glad that they have left me with the strength and resilience I didn't know existed...
(sorry for the long post!)
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| Bit too much info - I know.. Java Jane in her undies.. Here is a pic of my scar a month old... it is all hidden under cellulite now!!!
Today I am linking up with the delightful Jess who I had the pleasure of meeting at DPCON2012 at the weekend... at Diary of SAHM for
Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee
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