Bedtime Revelations

Around these parts I am celebrating! A major event has occurred, I feel almost like a new person. We are not at the finish line yet, but we are slowly making our way there. 

You see I have shared my bed with Darby for the past 2 and a bit years! And now I have had a major major breakthrough! Yay!

When we moved to our little home in 2010 I tried to get Darby sleeping in his own little bed. 

A new home, a new bed, a new room, a new life. Maybe it was a little too much for me to  ask of him to adjust his little mind and body around all of this change. He was not even 3 and he suddenly didn't have his dad there to say goodnight. So its no wonder  at bedtime  he simply wanted to be close to his Mama.  

I don't blame him.

I just wanted to be close to him too.

I was all protective of his state of mind (ignoring my own) and I just wanted him to sleep, wherever he wanted to. 

I thought this sleeping in my bed  may last a month or two while we settled in to our new life,  but those toddlers, they make habits pretty darn fast, and before long it was the norm for him to share my queen size bed every single night.
No matter what I tried, (and I tried everything), I couldn't get him to sleep in his own bed. He just fought it, and fought it and cried that really scared little cry, and I caved in every time. 

I soon realised its hard to change a habit. In his world it was just what you did, sleep with mum.  It was his routine, his room was for play, not sleep!   I sought help from a paediatrician and implemented strategies, that worked for a day and then back to his old ways.

We had a plan to have him sleeping in his bed by the time school came around, and I wanted more than anything to have his bedtime routine sorted by then.
 He wouldn't go to bed unless I was there, so we were either going to bed really early, or really late. I just wanted a happy medium, and for his reliance on me being there all the time  to become less, to know I was in the next room if he needed anything.

Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough,  For me, I still enjoyed most aspects of our co-sleeping:  telling each other stories as we drifted off to sleep, waking up beside him in the morning,  hearing his steady breath  in the middle of the night .  Those are little joys of life that filled my every day. 

But I was beginning to enjoy less, the randoms kicks, whacks, prods  my body was receiving at all hours. My little boy was growing and he liked to move all around that bed in his sleep. I was always at  the receiving end of kicks and I had many a night where I was waking on every hour from a kick, push, whack, whatever.  OK its not the end of the world, but I would prefer to have my 5 year old kicking his own pillows.

And to be honest, I craved just a little alone time at night to relax, unwind, enjoy a cup of tea and just be (by myself)!
This was not happening and so my mental health was severely suffering.  With no day sleeps anymore, it was 14 hour days straight entertaining him  and some days I needed the day time sleep! I was exhausted!  I savour our days together, but the hours from 5pm-8pm, well they are most parents witching hours,  it was no different here too.

And then, the breakthrough ....

On Darby's 5th Birthday to be precise, a major milestone occurred!

My sister surprised him with a batman bedspread he had been eyeing off for some time. Ingenious!

The bedspread went right on his bed, and lo and behold he wanted to sleep in it straight away! Just like that!!!

So every night since then (bar the ones he is at his dads and grandparents) he has gone to sleep in his own bed! Amazing!

I read him a story and he just goes to sleep! Most nights he does end up back in my bed at 3am, 4am 5am, this doesn't worry me a bit and I will address it at another time!

At the moment I am just rejoicing his current bedtime routine! Its amazing! I feel like a new woman too, getting an hour or two to myself in the evening. Hallelujah!
Its almost 3 weeks now, and its becoming his norm to go to bed in his own bed, in his own room!

Its such a wonderful breakthrough! I knew it would happen one day, but I really didn't think a bedspread would hold that much power!

 I was wrong, so wrong!!

And as Robin so rightly puts it - " Holy Bedspreads Batman!!"