Just call me clumsy

I had a fall on the weekend. It was a pretty spectacular fall from grace, and at the time a very embarrassing one.

A fall is not at all uncommon in my neck of the woods. 

Normally I just lose balance and fall on my knees,  graze them a little, and move on. 

On the weekend though, I fell on my face! I didn't just suffer  a small graze, no, of course I wasn't that lucky.
I suffered the most magnificent kind of graze that has ever graced my body, and a black eye to boot!

I have always been a clumsy girl, I think it comes down to my wonky hips. One of my legs is an inch or so shorter than the other, so I have always been at a disadvantage when trying to keep on a even keel!

Although most of the time I think my flaky personality, my day dreaming and being ever so distracted is more likely the culprit for these nasty tumbles.

On Saturday, it was probably a mixture of both, with just a tad bad luck really.  I tripped on a curb,  my foot caught a small bump on the curb and  I was down, no times for my hands to go out and protect me, They were holding a bag which ended up protecting my chest area, Thank goodness those bits werent injured! phew. 

I have a scraped knee and that's all my body has to show for it. Except for my face, my poor poor  swollen face!

When my sister came to take care of me, all she could do was laugh, not in a mean way, but in an  uncomfortable "oh my god you look horrible, only you could  have had this bad luck" kind of way. She called my mum and couldn't stop laughing then either, her disbelief  in how I looked turned to giggles, I tried to laugh, but the pain really stopped me. 

I had to see a Doctor, just to rule out any serious injuries, but going out in public was horrendous. 

Nowhere to hide the evidence, the uncomfortable outings with my over sized sunglasses and hat. I looked down at the ground the whole  time,  not wanting to make eye contact with any body passing by,  feeling strangers stares baring down on me, looking at my fat lip, my swollen eye and grazed cheek. I was sure  some would be judging me, putting pieces of a story that had never happened together,  some were concerned and others just looked away. 

I have absolutely no idea what it is like to be a victim of any kind of violence, but I do somehow know in a small way how it must feel when gazes are not met, and judgements are made, before my mouth has even opened  to explain what happened. 

My former partner walked me to the doctor, but did not want to walk in with me, for fear of being judged.  It did look like I had bee beaten up really badly. The doctor who saw me just winced when he opened the door to see my face. 

I have never really felt so insecure about my looks, and to be honest when I put my hand across my left side, all I could see was my beautiful normal face and eyes, and I have never ever felt like that before.  I have never ever wanted to be back to what I look like.  

Its been a strange few days of mixed emotions I haven't felt before and pain I haven't endured. Swollen head kind of pain, sunken eye kind of pain, bruised face kind of pain. 

My face is beginning to heal and I am beginning to look like me again, the swelling is going down and the graze is being covered in every kind of healing cream there is on the market! 

Lets hope next time I fall, I stick to just grazing the normal parts like  my hands and knees. Or is that I just need to remember to put my hands out!  

Please universe smile on me, no more falls for a while, please!  I think I have well and truly used up my quota for the yea