The small steps I took to a happier 2013 ....

 

Earlier in the week I blogged about the card ripping episode. Yes that's right,  I had a horrible card holding me captive. By ripping it up and removing it from my life signified the final step in acknowledging I don't live in that negative and pessimistic mindset anymore. I am now striving to live a happier and healthier life, A life filled with contentment and joy and the people and things I love.  

I thought I would share some of the little things I have done this year that have made all the difference in turning my life around. As a lovely and inspiring friend put it yesterday, its the little things that end up making the bigger picture.  She was so right. Just including a few of these things everyday has made all the difference in how I feel. 

 

- Spending quality time in my own company when Darby is at school, whether that is time at home just relaxing,  out for a coffee just watching the world go by, or sitting somewhere and just daydreaming;

- Wearing bright coloured jewellery, especially of the neon yellow kind! It really does brighten up my mood and my outfits!

- Drinks of nice and hot tea in pretty cups, I am liking the Yogi brand in Chai Roobios, and I can never ever go past my all time favourite Lady Grey;
 

- Attending twice weekly dance exercise classes. Its been so much fun to dance around a room to cheesy music, letting all inhibitions go! It gives me a massive buzz, I don't even realise I have been exercising!

- Finally listening to my body and  respecting what it wants and needs. This has been very powerful in ending my dieting mentality for good (all thanks to intuitive eating);

- Trying new foods, and giving up some foods too! In particular I am loving Umbeboshi Plums (thanks to my sister who introduced these to salty little gems) and Bee Pollen (thanks to Amelia over at Nurture and Shine for recommending these little wonders!)  

-  Baking new treats for Darby and myself. I love trying new products and being innovative with the way I incorporate health and fun into our diets!

- Visiting Health food stores;

- Drinking my one and only daily coffee. As much as I look like I am addicted to the stuff, I am not, I could go a day without, and I have. I just enjoy the ritual of going out and trying new things,  it is just  something I love to do!
 

- Making the time to see good friends, this is so good for the soul. Life is busy, but I find because I don't have a partner at home to have adult conversations with, I crave connecting with  people that I love and when I do, it is so reassuring and I always walk away feeling enriched;
 

- Reading inspiring books and blogs, that leave me feeling uplifted and motivated. My favorite books are quite often cook books, so I have indulged in a few that are supporting my new healthy philosophies;

- Walking around our local neighbourhood and taking photos, I love how I see things in a new way when I do this!

- Taking photos of Darby with my new camera. It  really has me stepping outside my comfort zone as I have somehow managed  to teach myself to shoot in Manual mode. I love how this makes my brain really think!
 

- Giving up processed sugar. Making this change has made me feel amazing, clear headed, vibrant and so much happier! It was a very natural process and the longer I go without the better I feel;

- Switching off from work the moment I leave the building. I enjoy the job I do and the people I work with, but when it clocks over 4.30pm, I clear my mind and don't think about work until the next time I walk through that door. This was a hard one for me, but after some bouts of severe stress last year, it was essential for my mental health to do this. Working 3 days a week has given me back that work/life balance I needed;

- Enjoying my Saturday Darby days. Now that he is at school I really treasure the time we spend together on the weekend. We tend to sight see around Melbourne, have lunch and just hang out. After the hustle and bustle of the busy school week, its just nice to reconnect on the weekends;

Most of these are pretty simple things, but they have all added up to greater happiness and sense of self which is what I was striving for. I want to be able to look back in years to come and remember how much I enjoyed my  life! I am not waiting for the future to do that, I am living the life I want now!
 

Until next time,

Jane

Keep calm as life is pretty special after all

I have always thought of myself as a glass half full kind of gal.  I strive to look at the positives in life and not focus on too many of the negatives. I'm not sure I was always like this, but I know for the last  decade or so I  really tried to adopt this mindset.

I didn't notice that my attitude may have been changing awhile ago. I'm pretty sure it was around the time of my breakup. I guess that is only natural when you are going through a significant and unwanted life change.   When I suddenly realised the path I thought I was meant to take, was now not the right one. That I had to turn around and walk the long, dark road back to the fork and then forge out a new path on my own.

I think any significant life change can bring about these unwelcome and depressed feelings. Its never easy I guess, so you could say my positive approach to life was slowly engulfed in a dark cloud of negativity, cynicism and resentment. I forgot how to see the good in the world. It all looked grey to me. I was so incredibly lucky to have Darby, who turned out to be my little beacon who shone the light on my new path. He  kept me going, and gave me hope that one day our future would be bright.

So I remember getting the above card for myself at Typo some time in late 2010. At the time I thought it was great. It rang true to my hurt and the pain I was feeling. Pessimistic much? 

I think I liked its sarcasm and its hopelessness. So representative of my dejected feelings.  I stuck it on my inspiration board that overlooks my bed and that I reflect on every evening before I sleep.  

I suppose I noticed my attitude to life slowly shifting late last year. After I turned 33, I decided that feeling happy was the answer. I know that is quite simplistic, but there was a definite turn in the positive direction, yet that card still hung above my bed and I would almost flinch when I  looked at it everyday.

So today a funny little thing happened. I had this urge, a real urge I couldn't shake. I knew what I wanted to do and when I arrived home after a morning out with one of my dear dear friends, I walked into my room, pulled it down and ripped it in half {oh and then photographed it before throwing in the bin, never to be seen again}. You know what ? It felt amazing! 

I have come a long way since the day I got this. This card has no relevance in my life anymore. I actually think this life  I'm living is pretty darn great! 

Yes I know there are truly crappy times, and periods when things are so so hard, but my overall sense of happiness and joy has blossomed and my opinion on life has shifted.

Life is meant to be a roller coaster. These adversities make us grow stronger, build our resilience,  perseverance, compassion, gratitude and love. They give us character and depth. They shows us how strong you can be and how emotions can grow, change and heal.
I think it is incredibly important that when we are in the midst of these negative times that we are kind to ourselves, that we grieve what has been lost and try our best to appreciate life afterwards. We need to go through that whole grief cycle  (for me that took 2 and a half years!).  Its amazing when you come out of that dark cloud and the clarity you can see.

So now in 2013 I see bright things, happy things, so much hope for the future,  a life  to be enjoyed and  nurtured.  I have seen the fragility of life,  experienced  the immense joy and monumental heartache, I know this is all part of life's course. These are the things we cannot control.
It is the way you feel in your heart and mind that you can and I know that sounds so naive of me, but it has worked in my situation.  I realised if I didn't just love my life or myself just as it is, no one was going to make me. (Very Mr Darcy, I know!)  It was my responsibility to cultivate my own love and happiness from the inside out.  

Its up to me and me only.

Now I am  just after a new card that reflects how I feel!


Until next time

Spring in my step.....

Something has shifted in my life, something very profound for me.

It is something that has been missing in action around these parts for quite some time. Maybe even years.

Yes it is that ever elusive thing called Happiness!

Don't get me wrong I have had many a  happy moment over the last few years, blissful ones really, but that's what they were, just fleeting moments.
I had never just had that overwhelming sense of happiness, that feeling that fills your every being, I haven't had that in a long long time, maybe ever.

After a pretty crappy November, I really thought I was possibly heading for some kind of rock bottom, I was flying headfirst towards some kind a breakdown!  I was waiting patiently.  I  didn't think  I would be serendipitously scooped up with a wave of this long awaited emotion.

I can't exactly put my finger on what has shifted, Maybe it is that time of year where most feel  a sense of festive spirit, maybe, it certainly  has made a difference.

But  Xmas's past, I have felt flat and my Xmas cheer has felt contrived, Like I was trying to manufacture my own  festive happiness,  if I pretended to be happy, I would be happy.

I have realised that you cannot manifest that kind of thing no matter how hard you try,  I just wasn't able to inject the real thing into my life. 

This feeling I have, its definitely a feeling that has come from within. In the last few weeks, nothing physical has changed, but I have noticed I have a swing in my step, even a bit of a swagger if you don't mind.  My confidence and sense of self has increased.

Maybe that fall recently really did knock some common sense into that head of mine!

There are many things I still wish to change about myself, but I want make changes with a positive frame of mind, not a negative one.  I'm not ecstatic with the way look, but I have reached a point where I am happy and grateful for what I have. Ill work with what I have got,  I am and forever will be  a work in progress in all aspects. Striving to be better, but at the same time realising I am good as I am now.
I am what I am, and its taken me a long time to get to this point - I cant say I will be here for long, but its something.

I know I am mentally strong, I can and will survive any adversity that comes my way, all that stuff about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, well its so true. 

I am finally fully open to change, to try new things,  for exciting challenges and  to open up my eyes wider to a new world. I'm not scared anymore, I am at a point where I need to do this for me.

That flutter in my heart, and buzzing in my stomach, that almost giddy feeling  is  not something I'm used to feeling,  but I like it.

I try to smile instead of frown, I am trying to match my body language with these new feelings,  I am laughing wherever possible, finding the joy in the little things. 

I have noticed myself injecting little things into my day that give me a lift .
Stopping at my favourite coffee shop on the way to work, exploring new places,  walking and embracing the sunshine, doing exercise that I used to love, dancing around my lounge room with Darby, baking my favourite meals, listening to music really loudly, singing really badly, Trying to think of others, taking more pride in the my appearance. Trying to make myself look a bit more sparkly and pretty. Wanting to write more, speak more, and listen more.  Telling myself that I am worthy, worthy of great and magical things.

Whatever it is I am doing, its all working, I haven't felt this amazing in a very long time. There is this calm acceptance, and this giddy excitement for the future. My pessimistic outlook for my life is slowly dissipating

This feeling of happiness sits well, it sits really really well and I hope it decides to stick around for awhile to come.