Keep calm as life is pretty special after all

I have always thought of myself as a glass half full kind of gal.  I strive to look at the positives in life and not focus on too many of the negatives. I'm not sure I was always like this, but I know for the last  decade or so I  really tried to adopt this mindset.

I didn't notice that my attitude may have been changing awhile ago. I'm pretty sure it was around the time of my breakup. I guess that is only natural when you are going through a significant and unwanted life change.   When I suddenly realised the path I thought I was meant to take, was now not the right one. That I had to turn around and walk the long, dark road back to the fork and then forge out a new path on my own.

I think any significant life change can bring about these unwelcome and depressed feelings. Its never easy I guess, so you could say my positive approach to life was slowly engulfed in a dark cloud of negativity, cynicism and resentment. I forgot how to see the good in the world. It all looked grey to me. I was so incredibly lucky to have Darby, who turned out to be my little beacon who shone the light on my new path. He  kept me going, and gave me hope that one day our future would be bright.

So I remember getting the above card for myself at Typo some time in late 2010. At the time I thought it was great. It rang true to my hurt and the pain I was feeling. Pessimistic much? 

I think I liked its sarcasm and its hopelessness. So representative of my dejected feelings.  I stuck it on my inspiration board that overlooks my bed and that I reflect on every evening before I sleep.  

I suppose I noticed my attitude to life slowly shifting late last year. After I turned 33, I decided that feeling happy was the answer. I know that is quite simplistic, but there was a definite turn in the positive direction, yet that card still hung above my bed and I would almost flinch when I  looked at it everyday.

So today a funny little thing happened. I had this urge, a real urge I couldn't shake. I knew what I wanted to do and when I arrived home after a morning out with one of my dear dear friends, I walked into my room, pulled it down and ripped it in half {oh and then photographed it before throwing in the bin, never to be seen again}. You know what ? It felt amazing! 

I have come a long way since the day I got this. This card has no relevance in my life anymore. I actually think this life  I'm living is pretty darn great! 

Yes I know there are truly crappy times, and periods when things are so so hard, but my overall sense of happiness and joy has blossomed and my opinion on life has shifted.

Life is meant to be a roller coaster. These adversities make us grow stronger, build our resilience,  perseverance, compassion, gratitude and love. They give us character and depth. They shows us how strong you can be and how emotions can grow, change and heal.
I think it is incredibly important that when we are in the midst of these negative times that we are kind to ourselves, that we grieve what has been lost and try our best to appreciate life afterwards. We need to go through that whole grief cycle  (for me that took 2 and a half years!).  Its amazing when you come out of that dark cloud and the clarity you can see.

So now in 2013 I see bright things, happy things, so much hope for the future,  a life  to be enjoyed and  nurtured.  I have seen the fragility of life,  experienced  the immense joy and monumental heartache, I know this is all part of life's course. These are the things we cannot control.
It is the way you feel in your heart and mind that you can and I know that sounds so naive of me, but it has worked in my situation.  I realised if I didn't just love my life or myself just as it is, no one was going to make me. (Very Mr Darcy, I know!)  It was my responsibility to cultivate my own love and happiness from the inside out.  

Its up to me and me only.

Now I am  just after a new card that reflects how I feel!


Until next time