Who the hell am I?

I am a walking talking contradiction....

I'm on a journey.. walking an unknown road with my little man by my side.... but I'm walking with conviction...  

I am needy.. I need the company of others... I hate being alone... 
But I know I have done a smashing job of being by myself  as a  solo parent to Darby for 2 bloody long  years..
I want a man to save me... but I know I have already saved myself
I have been wounded in more ways than one... Scars heal... I have many...... 
I can never make a decision on what to have for dinner... but  I decided to walk away from a six year relationship at the risk of never getting what I want..
I am true to my values.. but my values change all the time... 
I have deep dark secrets... but  I can be read like an open book ..... 
I don't think before I speak... I stew over conversations for hours and hours... 
I am messy... but I wish I wasn't ...
My head hurts sometimes with the emotions over flowing in it  - I wear those emotions on the outside of my body 
I am so emotional... I wish sometimes I wasn't such a feeling person.... but I guess its a good thing..
I love affection .. I love giving affection... Darby is one lucky little man! 
I love writing.. It doesn't come naturally and I don't rate it... but it gets me through the hard times...
I'm a drama queen of the best kind
I am so weak ...... but have the will and can be as hard as a rock .. unbroken and resilient....
My body has limitations.. but to me the sky is the limit... 
I am an elastic band... If pulled far enough I snap... 

I swear too much.... I need a swear jar 
I yell too much ... but speak quietly most of the time.. 
I love Hall and Oates and Bruce Springsteen 
I love truly and in  high definition colour... I grieve and mourn in private... 
I smile always .... cry behind closed doors.....
I can cry at the drop of the hat.. but can hold it all in...
I wish I could be cracked open more often.. I wish I could tell others how I am feeling... 
I love celebrations... I love to dance to cheesy music..
I get frustrated easily .. but I am incredibly patient....
I laugh loudly... I have many crinkles around my eyes 
I'm in a very happy relationship with coffee.. tea isn't a bad companion either
I love Fleetwood Mac and George Michael 
I am strong and courageous, scared and timid... 
As shy as can be.. the loudest and giddiest in the room...
Chocolate can get me through any bad day....
I can't sing.... But I love music... 
I have a play list for all the good times and all the crap times in life..
I don't know who the hell I am .. or who I want to be...  I know one day I will know... 
Change... Evolution.. these are powerful things.. and I hope I keep changing..... the best is yet to come...
And lastly, Life is too short for crappy coffee 

I am linking up with  amazing Eden... over at Edenland.....