The first day of spring brings sunshine and warmth, the possibilities of new adventures. The new season is a time to shed that winter coat and look toward the future. It is also hard at this time to not look back at the past. Today is the anniversary I shared with Dave, its been 2 years since we separated but it would have been 8 years today. It is hard not to let the mind wonder to what might have been.
I know I chose the right path for Darby and for myself, but its only natural to look back and reflect. Things between us are as good as they will be, and Darby is so well adjusted, knowing both his parents love him so much. We can get along with ease, share a joke and still spend time together as a family, without it confusing any of us.
This reflection today for me is all part of grieving process, I am for the most part a healed woman, but at times I realise how much more I have to mend my heart. I cherish those happy times we had together and I cling to those memories. I never regret a thing that happened. I hate the cliche that all things happen for a reason, but I really do believe that. This relationship led me to become a mother, a changed woman forever.
But I hope this spring brings some growth and change for me , it is what I am needing to help me move on to better places and the kind of happiness that I know really does exist..
Until Next time,
Java Jane
I really belive things happen for a reason too... I have a funny feeling that there is someone very special waiting for you just around the corner. Xx
ReplyDeleteOh thank you .. that makes one of us!! I need to think positively, it will be the only way things will improve!! But thanks for having faith in me : ) xxx
DeleteIt will Jane, I can see you being so positive, social and embracing new things. It can't help but lead you into some shiny greener pastures. I hate that cliche too. You've got guts, passion and a whole lot of love for Darbs. I reckon that's a brilliant starting point.
ReplyDeleteOh Jane, sending you love and hugs. xoxo
ReplyDeleteJane, I know exactly what you mean. It will be (or more importantly, the kid's) first Father's Day as a separated family. I find myself in exactly the same position as you. I know it was for the best. But I do find myself clinging onto memories, wondering what went wrong, why couldn't it be like it used to but I so want there to be new beginnings and a clear head. I'll always have those memories but I don't want them to make me sad anymore rather just be there, as memories. I'm not in a hurry to be with anyone else but I just want to stop feeling sad.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you,
Anne xx