Favourite Photo Friday - The Coffee Edition

I just had some random thought, (that happens frequently for me!)  that I am going to share some of my favourite photos on Fridays, nice ring to it hey? It will be a happy way for me to end the week and and an easy post for this photo loving gal! 

I love sharing! I have over 50,000 photos sitting in my IPhoto never being seen by anyone. It seems such a waste when I know I have captured so much joy in them. There are photos of every aspect and random event of my life. The good, the bad and the ugly, but all the same they are memories.

So this first week, it made perfect sense to share some of my favourite coffee photos. 

I have taken these over the past 12 months whilst doing my little coffee challenge.  It seemed only right to parade the  photos that really are the essence of why I started blogging. For those that don't know, last year I went on some caffeine fuelled mission to taste 100 of Melbourne's best coffees. I took this challenge by the balls, going to over 150 of Melbourne's best java houses,  hence my friends, that is how I became known as Java Jane.

I may have gone a little stir crazy, but you cant really blame me, I was in the midst of my first year of solo parenting and trying to find my feet, and establish myself as an independent woman. Something I hadn't done for 6 or so years, but this time I had a 3 year old in tow! Nothing easy about that.

This challenge kept me sane, when everything around me turned to crap. It kept me focused, and motivated when some days I didn't want to get out of bed. In no way do I regret it, because it opened up the door to blogging, I cant imagine my life before it, and the friendships I have formed, the beautiful insightful  women I have met, and the stories I have been able to share and read. 

So that crazy idea by my former partner that I should start blogging about my coffee drinking escapade, that was by far the smartest thing he ever said to me  and  the best decision I made ,   the drinking coffee part was just the icing on the cake!   

Coffee still plays a massive part in my everyday. It makes my days better, it lifts me up and soothes my soul. I cant put my finger on what it really does, but without it I wouldn't be the person I am. It helped me when I was down, it was my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, it was my Prozac,  pretty alright for a humble brown bean.

So here you go, enjoy some of my favourite photos I have taken of coffee that I have had the pleasure of drinking. 

(one day I will get a decent camera  - these were all taken on my iPhone!) 

Today I am linking up for FYBF over with the gorgeous Grace  over at With some Grace ...... 

 Until next time life is too short for crap coffee

Partying with the Pink leopard!

After last week feeling a little not quite myself and a tad blue, not helped at all by a lingering, pesky head cold  it was nice to just put that all aside and let my hair down (well what was left of it after a seriously big "trim") 

I was in the mood to party, and what better way than to  help celebrate my lil sisters 30th Birthday! Great food, good company and a barrel of laughs! I haven't laughed like than in as long as I can remember, and it felt good!
 I also got to hang out with an awesome blogger, one of my sisters good friends from work! (She also made a spectacular chocolate torte, which we ate with the all round classic Neapolitan ice-cream! ) 

The Pink Leopard and I started blogging round about the same time, and I always go to her for food inspiration. She has the most amahhzing food blog and cooks food to die for. Do your self a favour , GO check it out for some inspiration, She makes the hard look easy, or is that the other way round!  Anyway she was a blast to hang out with, and she also had some very funky moves I haven't seen in years when she hit the faux dance floor at my sisters house,  that girl can move her thang!  
I can't dance for anything, but no one was stopping me from my head banging and giggling my way through some WHAM!
 

I think all I needed to cure my not feeling myself  blues was some dancing to some really cheesy music, with some fist pumping and air guitaring to match, oh and a couple of glasses of champagne definitely helped too! 

How do you get out of a slump when you are feeling blue??

Today I am linking up with the delightful Jess at Diary of SAHM for

Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee

Thirty.. {and I'm not talking about my age}

So today I am writing a list of thirty of my positive qualities. A challenge set by Dorothy of Singular Insanity. 
Completing this list was something I really felt I needed to do.
Um yes, this is quite a tricky exercise for someone whose self esteem is non existent.
I have had alot of negative self talk cluttering my head space for for as long as I can remember,  its always there, but at the moment it is working in overdrive! I really feel as though these negative thoughts are taking over and stopping me from being the best I can be, so this challenge has come at exactly the right time.
My stomachs too fat, I need to lose 15kgs, I'm not smart enough, I wish I could speak up more, I wish I didn't put so much makeup on, I wished I looked good enough without make up, I wish I was a better mother, I wish I didnt get frustrated so easily. OK ok you probably get the drift that I am not too comfortable in my own skin, but this post isn't about that. Its about the good stuff, no matter how hard it is to put on paper, I want it to be a list I come back to, to give me inspiration when my head goes to that place and the negative thoughts start flooding in. 

So deep breath, here goes! 

❤ I am great at picking a cafe to go for coffee! I could pick a place in most suburbs in Melbourne! 
❤  I have very blue eyes, inherited from my dad. They are my best feature 

❤  I'm not embarrassed that I love Pineapple and Anchovies on my pizza

❤  I love how my body has adapted to life with a prosthetic hip

❤  I love with my whole heart, no apologies

❤ I acknowledge all the positive aspects in single parenting

❤ I make decisions based on my heart, even if they mean changing my life and sacrificing everything

❤ I have a strong body that has withheld so much pain in its short life

❤ I love cuddles and kisses with my little man

❤ I always say I love you before bedtime

❤ I look good as a blonde (even though it's from a bottle!)

❤ I love to frock up, drink french champagne and dance to 80's  music

❤ I love celebrations of any kind;  going to and planning them. 

❤ I can share a joke with my former partner and genuinely laugh

❤ I am resilient, knock me down and I will get right back up again

❤ I am independent and comfortable enough to travel to the other side of the world without my little sidekick
❤ I am a good listener, and offer great advice
❤ I am a fabulous innovative baker of sweet goods
❤ I am positive about life and the future
❤ I am an emotional person and proud to wear my heart on my sleeve
❤ I am intuitive, I watch people and I think I  have a good idea of how people are feeling
❤ I am empathetic and offer support where I can
❤ I am proud of myself, my family and friends
❤ I am loyal till the end 
❤ I love my laugh lines, it means I have had many happy times in my life so far
❤ I am incredibly sensitive, (this can be a downfall- but I'm looking at the positives here!!)
❤ I love being a mum, it completes me.
❤ I am constantly changing and slowly becoming a little more comfortable with my self 
❤ I love the art of giving and seeing happiness on the faces of others 
❤ I know that one day I will find my silver lining, but in my heart I know I have all that I ever need right now.

Until Next time  Life is too short for crappy coffee

Happy Birthday little sister

Today is my little sisters 30th birthday! Not only does that make me feel super old, it also makes me feel very proud.

Happy Birthday Little sis, I hope this year and the years to come bring you bucket loads of happiness. You certainly deserve it!  Be Brave and make bold decisions. You are still young, live life to the fullest.  Love Yoga. Enjoy chocolate, Travel the world and do the things that bring you happiness. Don't let fear of the unknown stop you!!

Your friendship and support mean everything to me! Your honesty and compassion has helped me in times of great change! I trust your sincerity when you give me feedback.
Your values of making the world a better place inspire me to be a better person and more socially aware of what's going on in the world! (And hopefully to make some of these changes in my own life.)

We love you so much! You are Darby's idol! (and mine too)
We cant wait to celebrate with you,

Love
Your older sister

Jane
& Darby
xxxx

Windows of Happiness... Coffee, Scones and a Swing at the Park!

When I think about the Windows of Happiness in my life, the same picture always pops into my mind!! Its always the same! 

Its Darby and I in a cafe (really any cafe will do), in any weather,  I'm enjoying a coffee, he is enjoying his drink whatever that may be on the day,  and on the weekends (or when I'm feeling especially carefree), we order a treat to share. We love to sit and take happy snaps and talk. Talk to each other, talk to the wait staff and observe the world as it passes by! We are both brilliant observers. These shared moments together always brings happy feelings to my day.

So this Saturday, after a bit of a cold and grumpy start we went to a first class cafe that happens to be situated in my old university canteen (brings back weird memories of a youth long long ago!).  The Reading Room Cafe  is a fairly new cafe in the western suburbs of Melbourne, and it does evoke some memories of grabbing a dodgy coffee in my university days. Yet there is not a dodgy thing about this place! Its all class. The coffee is sublime and the food is on another level of amazingness! I have never been disappointed here and its always sure to take me to a happy place! 

Darby and I settle down and order drinks, then looking at their High Tea menu, we couldn't go past the Scones with Jam and cream! Not only were these the best Scones and Jam/Cream combo I think I have ever ever had (so light and delicate and fluffy)  it really did conjure up memories of Devonshire teas that I scoffed at every chance I got on my holiday gone by and of England, the country I really fell in love with!  
(I really want to know their secret scone  recipe,  mine are always like rocks!!) 
The chef often comes out of the kitchen to see how every ones meals are, which I find endearing. We tell her they are the best scones we have evvvver had and she was really chuffed!
 

After we had scoffed the scones (and all the jam and cream) we headed back to the car. Opposite our car was a tiny park, and by tiny, I mean just a set of swings! That was all. 

Darby immediately ran to them and hopped on. I was close behind and we took turns pushing each other on them. I was scared those lovely scones were now being swirled around in our stomachs and it might not have been such a great idea! (Visions of cleaning up vomit would ruin any happy moment)

Yet we couldn't help but keep swinging, it made us both giggle with such childhood abandonment (check out the video!! - it says it all!) I just had to let go of any fear that we may be feeling a little ill after it. 

The jolt of activity actually really warmed us up (its good exercise swinging and pushing) and made us forget about the freezing cold day.  This moment just topped off another wonderful window of happiness in our lives. 

Linking up today over with Fi at  My Mummy Daze for Windows of Happiness, a gorgeous Sunday linkup! 

Until next time, 

Lost without him....

Tonight as I sit at home, writing this, I am here alone, my apartment is quiet, very very quiet.  I am all by myself  and I feel completely  lost.  

I have a load of washing on, I'm in my tracksuit, and I should be relaxing,  putting up my feet  after a  hard days work but I just can't. 

I'm just not right tonight and I can't help it that the tears stream  down my face so easily. I know they will go, disappear, and in 10 minutes I'll be ok, Ill pick myself up and make dinner.

Tonight is the night Darby is at his dads. This has been our arrangement for the past 2 year or so. Something I implemented to add some structure to Darby's life. He needed that, and he needed to see his dad on a regular basis. They both love it.  I love that they love it.  So normally I'm ok, I'm normally busy, or I make plans, or have Offspring to watch on TV or I exercise (I should be exercising) but tonight I just feel too lost to do anything. I feel sick. 
Don't get me wrong I am much better at being alone than I used to be. Distraction is a very useful tool. I use it a lot. But tonight  its not working! 

I think about things, I know I shouldn't waste my time thinking about. I think often how I have managed to get into this position.  I'm still in denial. 2 years later and things for me are still tough, maybe they always will be. There are lots of issues and fears and emotions I know I need to work through (writing this and the tears come again). I know I have swept some of my feelings under the carpet for the past year and I fear if I don't move past them or at least make peace with them, Ill be stuck in this limbo land forever. But tonight I can't really think about that, I am thinking about Darby. 

My sidekick, My right hand man, My ally is not with me tonight and I miss him. 

I know its only fair for him to spend time with his dad, and 8 times out of 10 I am all good, but tonight I want him to be with me. I miss him, I miss his voice! I miss getting him dinner, even though I know he wont eat what I plate up, I love how he twists my arm and gets out the yogurt or even gets the ice cream out. I love how he is getting into a better bedtime pattern. I love how we head to bed together at 8 and fall asleep after reading Batman books, he always falls asleep first and I continue to chat to him, until I close my eyes and go to slumber land too. 

I coped so well when I was away on holiday, because I was away from the familiar, when I am at home, I miss him more,  he belongs at home. We are this little team and it feels like a piece of me is missing when he is not here. As the years pass, it seems to get even harder. 

I'll be ok tomorrow, I'll wake up and I'll feel better, I will have my first day off mid week and I get to spend the whole  day with Darby.

I know I need to have faith, one day it will get easier. I know I will still miss him the same,  but I will be able to accept our situation and hopefully I won't feel so lost without him, Ill be able to stand on my own two feet.  God you wouldn't know who the parent is in this situation ? 

I am fine, this is just the life of a single parent. As I have said many many times before, I am on a roller coaster ride, and tonight I am at the bottom of it and I don't have my regular passenger by my side! 

Until next time, 

My Parents are too cute!

My mum and dad resisted the temptation of upgrading their old, old mobile phones, until it just made sense that they received the hand me down iPhone 3's when my sister and I upgraded to the new iPhone! With some reluctance to give up their bricks, they have embraced the technology with gusto. (I'm such a proud daughter!!) 

It is nearly a daily occurrence that I receive a picture message from either! I am secretly really loving it! Its adorable in fact (especially when they are looking after Darby up at their place)!  Oh and I love the messages from my dad - pretending to be Millie Dog. They are so darn cute! 

Next thing I know they will be on Instagram!

(PS- Mum and Dad if you are reading, don't hate me.. I love the pictures you send, they make my day!)

I am Linking up today with Trish for Wordless Wednesday at  My Little Drummer Boys

Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee

Dad showing off the gifts I got him from the UK

 Millie Dog doing her best "I miss Darby" look!

The One with all the answers

I read this post over at Amelia from Weddings, Babies, Everything's this morning and was inspired to tackle this questionnaire where you only respond with one word! I was sure it was going to be easy, it was and it wasnt. 

Reflecting on it 10 minutes later made me realise how the restraint shown in having to chose that singular word was quite powerful at how it painted a picture of me. Here is a glimpse,  I hope it tells you some more, by not saying much at all. 

1. Where is your mobile phone? Table

2. Your hair? Bun

3. Your mother? Sweet

4. Your father? Inspiring

5. Your favourite food? Chocolate

6. Your dream last night? Nostalgic

7. Your favourite drink? Coffee

8. Your dream/goal? Happiness

9. What room are you in? Lounge

10. Your hobby? Coffee

11. Your fear? Everything

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Contented

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? Confident

15. Muffins? Banana

16. Wish list item? Camera

17. Where did you grow up? Bendigo

18. Last thing you did? Sighed

19. What are you wearing? Dress

20. Your TV? Off

21. Your pet? Nonexistent

22. Friends? Supportive

23. Your life? Hopeful

24. Your mood? Glad

25. Missing someone? Shaz

26. Vehicle? White

27. Something you’re not wearing? Jeans

28. Your favorite store? Many

29. Your favorite color? Red

30. When was the last time you laughed? Before

31. Last time you cried? Today

32. Your best friend? UK

33. One place that I go to over and over? Cafes

34. One person who emails me regularly? Sister

35. Favorite place to eat? Home

Feel free to  have a go too and tell me about it. I think I cheated on  21 - Nonexistent. Oh Well I gave it a try! Its harder than it looks

Today I am linking up for FYBF over with the amazing marathon runner (woohoo!!) Grace  over at With some Grace ...... 

Until Next time.....  Life is too short for Crappy Coffee!!

More time..

In a few short weeks I'll be a mother of a five year old!! It seems so weird for me to even say this, like I'm talking about somebody elses child, not my own . Not possibly my own. 

Yet filling in his school enrollment forms with his dad, just reinforced the feeling that the baby I once cradled oh so small against my chest has now developed into a boy, a big boy who now leaps, bounds and jumps into my arms! 

This little boys personality is emerging more and more every day. I can see the likeness of myself in him like a mirror, but I also see the other side, he is so much more confident in himself than I ever remember being! I was timid and shy, always blushing, trying to hide behind my mousy locks.  This kid I have is charming and confident and has more cheeky in him than I ever knew could possibly exist. He will speak to any child with such ease, he is confident with adults, and although I have so much to teach him about the world, he has a ginormous heart, that makes me proud as a parent every day.

And as I consider this massive milestone coming up in my Darby's life, I have had news to lift me as a parent, to make me realise how much time I do want to spend with him before he goes to school, and  how much  more I have to teach him before his big, big  adventure.
 Alot of this good news has been mostly a relief.  I have been given a lifeline, I have been on a little bit of a slippery slope this year heading no where good. And now  I have been given more time! 

My work has come to the party and offered me 3 days a week! This is an amazing outcome and one I am so very very happy about it. The relief, sheer relief and the weight of everything on my shoulders has now been momentarily lifted.  

More time - what joy ! What I have wanted for so, so long, I have finally been granted !

The days of working four days are over, the struggling, sinking, drowning, not coping with  full time working and solo parenting at the same time,  pressures of Childcare and the early starts and the unreliable nature of what my Thursday's were, are gone,  done and dusted. The late nights getting home, the one less day spent in peak hour traffic so bad you can only cry (or laugh as I often forced myself to do), the toast for dinner, the tears by both of us in the morning.  Gone gone gone. 

I can now say I have more days at home than at work! Its only one day that I will be working less but the weight of that now gone has transformed me, and it hasn't even happened yet! (it starts next week) 
I am and will be so grateful for this extra time, time to spend with my baby who is becoming a boy... I cant wait! I want to capture these moments while I still can and for us to both savour  these times before he enters the next stage of his little life! 

Today I am linking up for FYBF over with the gorgeous Grace  over at With some Grace ...... 

Until Next time.....  Life is too short for Crappy Coffee!!