Wednesday, May 30, 2012

How did this happen...

Tonight I am off to a prep 2013 information night! How did it happen that my little baby is nearly old enough to go to school... How did he grow up so fast....
It feels like yesterday that he was kicking about in my tummy and I was eagerly awaiting his arrival!! It makes me feel so old and nostalgic thinking back..
Its definitely mixed emotions in my camp.. one part of me feels so sad that I have to let my baby go.. The other part so happy that he gets to enter this next exciting stage in life that he is more than ready to take on...
We still have 6 months of time together, and I am going to make sure I make the most of all of it!! I think because we are such a tight unit it will be hard to loosen those bonds.. They will always be there, but I have to let him grow and prosper as an individual! Instead of holding his hand to guide him, I'll be the crazy crying one cheering from the sidelines!
Next ill be sending him off to high school.. Then I can classify myself as really old (and probably justify a facelift too!)
Ah the joys of parenting... Anyone else going/gone through these feelings?? (probably the dumbest question ever!)

Until next time. Wish me luck ..
Java Jane xx

Monday, May 28, 2012

I'm on a roll... some photos of a happier and healthier weekend..

After being laid up with bronchitis  last weekend and only venturing outside to go to the Doctor or to the Chemist, it was nice to just get out and about and feel relatively normal again.. Yes I still have a yucky cough and sniffles that most people want tend to veer away from, but I almost feel like me again! 
On Saturday I managed a little walk to my local village to pick up my new iPhone cover.. if that wasn't going to make me happy, nothing was.... I loved it!
Next I went to Seven Seeds, voted on all the best coffee lists in Melbourne for a bit of a treat after a crappy week.. Then it was jumping on the train to pick up Darby from my parents.. it was nice not having to worry about driving and just sit back and relax and enjoy the countryside! We do a swapsie half way! 
Darby was excited to see me... smother me in cuddles and tell me all the fun things he managed to do at Grandma and Grandpa's.. its amazing in just 3 short days he seemed to have matured and his little face looked so grown up.. I bet when I arrive back from my holiday in July he will be soo different! 

On Saturday night we caught up for dinner with Darby's dad.. It seems funny that the three of us to can go out to dinner together as a family.. but it somehow works.. from the outside we look like any other family enjoying a night out for a meal at the pub.. makes me try not to pigeon hole people when I observe them.. 
For a family that is not really a cohesive unit any more.. the dynamics still work and we laugh and have fun and can converse as normal.. We finish dinner and go our separate ways.. It can feel a little hollow sometimes when we say our goodbyes.. but I am used to it now and Darby is fine... we can be adults about it and friends... I still cant believe it really! 
When Darbs and I got home we got in our Jim jams, had some ice-cream and relaxed watching some old school Superman.. a perfect end to Saturday night! 
 


On Sunday I had the morning to myself.. I went for coffee and read the paper.. this was bliss.. I then had a quick look around the shops.. I really have blinkers on at the moment trying not to buy anything.. my mantra.. "I will be in London in 7 weeks.. I will be in London in 7 weeks".. this does work and keeps my money firmly in my wallet....
In the afternoon, Darby and I attended a charity event with my aunt and uncle.. Darbs loved having his face painted like Batman and he was super lucky to win a raffle.. a big tub of cars... Heaven for him and for me... I had a peaceful Sunday evening whilst he happily played with his new toys! Ahh!















































I  am linking up for the first time with Lou - for Point and Shoot ... Her photos are exquisite.. very inspiring... and they are of Melbourne this week! So cool...


point + shoot
Until Next time.. Life is too short for crappy coffee.. 

Sunday, May 27, 2012

10 days....


Its been 10 days since I last blogged.. just 10 days... only 10 days... but somehow it feels like an eternity ago.
 I actually had thoughts during the past 10 days that I would never write on this blog again.. or maybe I needed to start a whole new blog.. start from scratch, a clean slate, or just delete this all and disappear from the blogosphere. 
Who was I kidding.. that was never going to happen..  Alas I have  broken my 10 day curse and posted something.. its not great.. but it is words.. and it is on here! 


I may blame all these silly thoughts on the fact I have been well & truly under the weather..  I have been the sickest I can remember being  as an adult..  actually I think I said those exact words no more than 6 months ago when I was equally as sick.. but  I think this time takes the cake! 
I really do believe I get sick when my body has had enough.. when I am absolutely run down, stressed to the max and my body cries out for some help, an intervention. It is a big,  rude shock to the system that leaves me startled, but it does get me thinking about how I want to live my best life.
When I was sick earlier in the year it was right after my cousin's funeral. To say the month leading up to that  was anything less than stressful is a gross understatement. My body literally fell apart and I had to stop, regroup and rest to get better. Maybe it was a chance to reflect and grieve on my time.. 


Shortly after I became a single parent in 2010, I was confronted with a "would have been" anniversary ... it would have been 6 years with Dave.. ironically that day I took ill.. was really sick I couldn't get out of bed, had to have someone look after Darby and literally fell apart.. A pattern is happening don't you think?

This time I have been feeling stressed about a lot of things  and it has been slowly building momentum for some time now.. my day to day routine has been wearing thin..... and so I knew the time was coming where my body was not going to cope any longer and would literally throw in the towel... It did just that and more.. 2 weeks off work, 4 trips to the doctor and several days on the couch feeling pretty damn low! I had Darby with me for the most part.. some days were ok and others well just exhausting.. I was a terrible, neglectful parent.. I won't be winning any parenting awards any time soon! He was left to his own device most of the time... I couldn't move for anyone.. There was no washing done.. no dishes.. not too many showers.. and Darby was left in full control of the pantry... not great for a 4 year old.... 


I happened to fall sick the same week my ever reliable parents boarded a jet plane a sunnier state for their wedding anniversary ...  This left me grasping for help.. begging Darby's dad.. and feeling mighty miserable about the way I felt and the situation I am in! 
This being all alone feeling hasn't really left me yet.. maybe it will when I shake the cobwebs of the bronchitis away... but there have been many a tear shed over the past 2 weeks .. and part of this feeling miserable was the feeling that maybe I would never write again.. maybe I would be happy with that.. but even in the 10 days of not really reading blogs or writing my own, I started to feel really disconnected.. disconnected to the world I loved.. the people I have met and feel I know.. sometimes these friendships seem more real than the ones I am having  in real life.. 

 Anyway I know I am rambling now and this blog post will make no sense.. but it was good that I just got my fingers tapping again.. and start to feel connected to the world I have grown to love and feel part of.. I know I need to make changes in my life, otherwise I will go down this path again and again.. like banging my head against a brick wall... in my head I know what I have to do to make life easier and better for Darby and I .. Im making my first daring move this week to make a change for the better.. wish me luck (oh and Ill be back in less than 10 days!)


Until next time (and there will be a next time) life is too short for crappy coffee 


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Batman to the rescue....

After earlier in the week complaining that Darby was going through one  of of those "uncooperative, naughty and cheeky stages that was driving me crazy"
Today I was pleasantly surprised.. I literally ate my words...  
My little batman loving boy.. was taking a page out of his favourite characters book and was a little superhero for me all day! 

This was the perfect day for him to pull out his Ace cards with his behaviour because I felt like death warmed up! 
I went into work feeling all stuffed up with a head cold.. it was all downhill really as I began to feel worse, cloudy, hazy and generally just miserable... I was not being a productive worker .. 
I decided the best thing to do was to leave at lunchtime.. head home and rest!
I wasn't sure whether to pick Darby up from childcare early and take the risk that the afternoon could go quite pear shaped if he started acting like he had for the last week or so...  Should I just  head home for some child free time to just rest with no distractions, no complaining, no demands? 
I flipped a coin and decided to pick him up.. mostly because I didn't want to go back into the city after I got home.. The stress of dealing with peak hour traffic would ruin any rest I was going to be having! 
I arrived at his Kinder when all the kids were resting.. nothing cuter than seeing 15 little 4 years olds having a nap on the floor.. How they get them all to sleep and so quiet in unison is seriously a mystery.. They need medals for this (I am guessing most of these kids don't have a sleep on a normal non kinder day!)
I hated having to wake Darby up after only 20 minutes of rest... His face when he saw me was of such disbelief and shock..  I had to calm him to let him know that everything was ok as I think he got a bit of a fright.. but he jumped straight into my arms for a cuddle..
After his initial shock he was talkative and excited to see me... there was no grumpy residue left from his quick nap.. 


We headed towards home and he was genuinely concerned that I was sick and wanted to look after me! We dropped in quickly to grab a coffee at Le Chien, he wanted to chat about his day and talk about my day... My little boy was acting so maturely.. 
We got home and he smothered me in cuddles and kisses, he put on his most charming and delightful self for the afternoon.. the one I remembered so clearly and that has been missing in action for a week or so now! 
No complaining, no demands, just bliss... happy, inquisitive.. happy to play by himself, happy to get me drinks, happy to smother me in love and blankets.. boy have I missed this little man! And more so, I was so thankful that he chose today to put on his best behaviour... Its hard being sick and by myself, I generally feel my lowest and realise how alone I am... but now Darby is so grown up, he can step up and take on the role of the caregiver from time to time! 

So whilst  I sat in my red chair and whined and sneezed.. He covered me in love and Wonder Woman stickers.. his way of telling me what an awesome mum I am and his way of making me feel better!
Ah bless his heart.. how I am so thankful for him! 


Until next time, stay out of the cold... 


Linking up with Kate at Kate Says Stuff for Thankful Thursday. What are you thankful for today?


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Colourful Creations keeping Yarraville warm this winter!

This week hasn't been a great one.. both Darby and I have succumbed to colds and infections (God I hate winter weather and the germs that come with it.. and it  hasn't event clocked over 1st June yet)
So it was a nice warming surprise to find these genius post warmers, near our train station in Yarraville. I just had to get a picture for Amelia from Weddings Babies Everything.. these reminded me of her gorgeous crochet attempts of late! I wish I could take them all home and wrap myself in their warmth.. but at least they put a smile on our faces! 

My Little Drummer BoysI am Linking up today with Trish for Wordless Wednesday at  My Little Drummer Boys


Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee





Monday, May 14, 2012

Random Ramblings of a weekend been!

Just thought Id share some bits and pieces of my weekend... not all that exciting but I just  needed to write a post.. I feel like my blog is slipping away from me... I have not updated it for awhile and I feel I have nothing really to say.. so I need to work my way back little by little! So please forgive me for these random bits!!

  Darby's dad gave Darby $20 to spend on me for mothers day.. We haven't been together for almost few two years now.. so this was very kind of him and much more than I would expect of him! It probably speaks volumes of how our relationship has evolved in that time... Last year to give me anything would have been too raw and a bit of a slap in the face.....  But really truly he does just want me to be happy.. I would have been happy if he had given Darby $2 or a flower picked from a neighbours garden ... I really didn't expect a thing! But hey I'll take $20 when I see it!! So I went to Kmart... (I needed to get value for my money!) I picked up a red top and leopard skin scarf, as well as some PJ pants.. I'm wearing the whole ensemble as I type this! It felt nice to buy a bright colour and wear it proudly! 
❤  I met a nice guy yesterday and there may have been flirting! Well I probably wouldn't go as far as flirting... but a lovely conversation anyway... I seriously need some practice, or a wingman, or something .. Im all out of shape in this department! Im sure I sounded like a goose! He had something very appealing about him,  he was very funny with Darby and had this Kenny, Shane Jacobson look and charisma! Anyway he left the cafe just saying goodbye and that was it! It makes me realise, I might need a personal trainer in the love stakes! I have lost my mojo!

  I felt a bit sad yesterday thinking of my two aunties spending mothers day together.. They have both have lost an adult child in the last 12 months...both so tragically...
It was good that they could share the day together, without the rest of the family not knowing what to do or say... their grieving can be private.. they could laugh and cry together.. As much as it would have been nice to be all together like we normally are, it would have been so hard on them! Next year we can see how it goes.. it won't get easier, but they may be ready to share the load of the pain. 

 Darby has been on his most naughtiest behaviour this week... He has been so fabulous of late, so its a bit of a rude shock to find him being so uncooperative... I think it may be due to him having a bit of a cold, or maybe its a phase... whatever it is... He is getting closer to five everyday, so Im not sure whether Im in for this kind of behaviour all the time... I seriously hope not! 
I want the sweet.. lovely... caring boy back.. this little cheeky and naughty side has tested my wits over the weekend... More nights of this and I will be pulling my hair out!  We have our appointment with his paediatrician this week so Ill have a 101 questions then! 

Ok I think might sign off now... a short and sweet post... just to whet the whistle and get my fingers typing again!! 

Until next time Life is too short for crappy coffee...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Wordless Wednesday..... The Hens Party edition..

On the weekend I helped to host a Hens Party... having never done this before it was all unknown territory to me... 
With the help of another friend... who had superb organising skills, we managed to pull together a great event... An afternoon High Tea and then we kicked up our heels and kicked it up a notch for the evening!  The Bride was very happy... (the most important thing!) and it went off without a hitch! 
After a pretty crappy week with being sick, alone and working way too hard... this night allowed me to let down my hair and have a bit of fun.. 
Here are some shots, including some of our topless waiter Rob, who was such a great sport!

My Little Drummer BoysI am Linking up today with Trish for Wordless Wednesday at  My Little Drummer Boys


Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee


Some of the High Tea Fare - Those Brownies were delish but so sweet!
Thanks Nigella!
Our Pretty High Tea Table - I had a blast baking!!
My sister Laura and I - getting stuck into daiquiris
Getting out our costumes.... an accessories party!!
No hens party is complete without a Penis straw!
Having a dance in a traditional Mauritius dress..
I will be doing this for real in a few months!
Signing the brides top... Those abs were rock hard!!! No Im not leaving
my phone number!!
Later in the night!
Mmm daiquiris....
Informing the bride of what we had planned!!!
Playing some trivia with Rob
Just had to include Rob doing the dishes.. love it!!
The Happy Bride!!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The return of MC!


  
Darby love  Master Chef. Full stop!




Darby has loved Master Chef since the juggernaut  first crashed onto Australian screens way  back in 2009.... At first his love for season one was mainly about the music. Katy Perry's infectious hit "Hot and Cold"that featured on the start. 
He was about 20 months and music was everything in his little world. He would bop his body away every night, then have his bottle, book and go to bed.. It became part of his end  of day routine. 

It was the only TV show that both his mum and his dad enjoyed watching together! A very rare thing! So we spent this family time all together!! And it was bliss.... 
Next he started recognising the judges on street signs and in newspapers.. It really was his first brand recognition (before it really was a brand!) Then it was recognising the judges, George, Gary and Matt... He developed a real man crush on these guys from this very early age.....
A year later in season 2 he still loved the music but it became much more than that.... To help with his speech difficulties we taught him to say all of the judges names, the brands- Coles, Curtis etc. We would use the Masterchef magazine like a big Picture Book to read to him at night, getting him to point out the judges, foods, places, anything really... It was such a fun way for him to learn and put sentences together (Check out this cute video of him learning to speak  reading the master chef magazine! he was so cute... and he makes me so proud that he has come such a long way with his talking!) 

Through this second season the continuity of the familiar faces,  helped with the turmoil of the breakdown of both of our worlds ... 

Our breakup happened in the middle of Season 2. 

Master chef became a real night time comforter, it was our escape from reality, something we loved doing together. It was also so  nice when we were settling into our new place.... This foreign place we had landed ourselves in.. but it remained unchained. Im sure he didn't really take that much in when he watched it.. and he was almost always asleep at the end of each episode! 

Darby was sad when it ended  and so was I.. it came a week or two of living by ourselves.. and came when I was feeling vulnerable and the warm familiarity was now gone for another year.

Season 3 came around and Darby's interest was at fever pitch, like most people I lost a bit of interest in it , but Darby's passion never waned! By now he knew all the contestants names now too...

And as year 4  starts, he counts Matt, George and Gary as some of his closest friends.. Although George is his fave... 

With his bedtime routine shot.. This little injection of positivity can't be doing too much harm can it?? I don't know the answer to this question! It's hard to know really...  Maybe he has an underlying desire to be a chef (his favourite kids movie is Ratatouille after all - and mine secretly too!) I'm sure by the time they decide to pull the pin on it, he will have lost interest whenever that may be..... But for now  these next three or so months he is held captive under its magic  spell!! Its cheesy and sometimes contrived... but it makes him  happy (and although Ill be flicking the channel when it clashes with the Voice) and I secretly don't mind much either! 
Until Next time.. Life is too short for Crappy coffee.. 

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I'm calling in sick.....

I have been a little bit quiet on the blogging front this week... My nights are being taken up being a domestic goddess (I wish)..  I have been busy baking cupcakes, scones, brownies.. you name it... all very yummy and not so healthy things that can be served at a Hens Day High Tea this weekend... 
So my writing has taken a backward seat for the time being... I'm also struggling with a sore throat that is beginning to linger more than I would like and well to be honest I'm completely and utterly sucked in by "The Voice".... It truly does make me feel all warm and fuzzy!! 
So the thought of missing a second of it... is really too much to bear.. (sad I know, but I believe I am not alone there!) 

And  I also have a little boy who every night just wants to sit on my knee to have cuddles and read books... meaning  I cant juggle a him  and a laptop...  This one is easy... Darby always wins out!

Anyway I will be back on board next week... I'm sure to update after the weekend of the Hens Day !! I'm hoping it will be awesome!!! I'm so excited to have a night to glam up... let me hair down and celebrate a great friend! 

Until next time, Life is too short for crappy coffee
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